I’m lost in my soul, and trapped in my mind</3

Hey all. Up until 5 days ago, I cut myself every night. I decided I need to stop. It was not helping anymore, and it was becomming a huge problem. or should I say it is a big problem. yeah.. yeah  it is. Today I couldnt help myself. I cant cope with reality. I feel like we have no purpose. We are born, we die. There is nothing to live for. Im lost in the universe. Im just afraid of what is and what there could be. And all the shit going on in my life. Moving, parents divorce, alcoholic dad, annoying sisters. no one gets what I feel. and I cant handle it, its overwhelming, so I cut again today. It was erm, good when it was happening, but im already regretting it. Also the thoughts of suicide have come up. Not me killing myself technically, more like if I was dead. If I was dead I wouldnt have to suffer so much. I dont think id be missed by many either. I think everyones life would be so much easier if I was just gone.. they would have no one to worry about. I dont know. My minds fucked up right now. urg. I wish I could just erase myself. painless, quick,e asy. and no one would remember me. cause id be erased. hmmph.