Today i tried to hurt myself again, its a never ending thing.
I want to be happy i want to be normal,i want to be seen, i need some kind of friend.
Keeping every problem in everyday, smiling pretending everything is dandy.
I hate how i grew up and became socially awkward, anxious and isolated myself ..
I dont like my body image, my social life does not exist, the best friends ive had for so long dont understand me and grown out in their ways.
I cant tell a soul, not even my mom who im closest to because she would be hurt and stressed along with the problems she
already has to deal with. and neither can i with my therapist– bcus she does not understand me one bit.
So most of the time i just talk to myself to the wall to God, but it seems pointless ..
so i cry myself to sleep, and do stupid things to make me numb in the night.
I just wish it changes because im tired of most of my life from middle school to being 20 living like this…
i dont want a perfect life, i want to be normal, i dont need everyone to understand me or listen to me, i just need one person
it isnt too much to ask for. I just want what every normal people have, i want to be happy.
4 comments
hang in there.:( i know finding the right guy is tough. but you will,don’t lose hope okay? your only 20 years old,you have your whole life ahead of you. we’re all here for you k? i’m 19 and have struggled since about middle school myself,the people on this site are really understanding and nice. we’re all your friends,k? we care about you,and we understand,we’re all going through similar things. please don’t give up! your not alone. and praying is never pointless! God loves you. your perfect just the way you are.
It definitely ISNT too much to ask for at all. Youre older than me but i can still safely say that we’re both very young and have pretty much of a full life ahead of us. I needed friends to when i came here. Everyone is so friendly, its hard to feel alone at night anymore. Keep pushing through life. And remember..normal is not always what it looks like 🙂 good luck to you.<3
i can relate with you. i don’t have answers. my parents suspect something is wrong, i mean i’m visiting them for a week and my phone never rings and i fall asleep by 8. i like myself and want to be happy but i’ve just never been happy, especially when it comes to relationships. i just need one person too and the friend i was closest with has drastically changed and we have nothing in common anymore. people are the source of 99% of my problems but i’m tired of always being isolated.
@always_alone It hurts feeling of always being isolated, a close friend i had ,.. had changed to. My boyfriend is giving up on trying to understand me. Everyone has, and i cant help but just end my life because no ones here. I talk to god and he tells someones gonna come along my life who would care for me and love me like no one ever did.. thats the only reason im alive atm and i choose to try.. but its been so long, and im tired of dragging myself to wake up , to live, .. i just wanna lay in my room under my blanket and sob my sorrow. .