I fail at keeping friends because I seem to push them away and then I get lonely.
I fail at love. I always get lead on and then they disappear like nothing ever happen. And now I’m falling in love with him.
I fail at protecting myself from bullies and just things that I let people to do me.
I fail in my schooling. My grades are always low because I can’t focus while I’m feeling this way..and it doesn’t help that my parents tell me “what happened? Now you are so stupid ”
I fail at keeping my own promises. I promised myself I would never harm myself to the point where there’s blood.
I fail at being strong.
I can’t even type this without crying. I used to be good at putting on that fake smile and personality to hide. Now I just can’t. I can’t take it anymore.
I fail at accepting life. I don’t think it’s worth it to just grow up, get a job, Give your money to the government, and then you just eventually die.
There’s so many things that I fail at. But I just don’t have it in me to type it. It’s silly. I’m so insecure. I just don’t know. I need him and he can’t be here. I have never actually fell in love. I don’t wanthis to end horribly. It will probably make things worse.
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4 comments
You win at expressing your worries
The fact that you cry typing it is actually a good thing it means that you actually even partially love yourself and are looking for help… I wrote a 6 page suicide note… planning ahead and couldn’t shed a tear… even though I know that if I went through with it no one would even take the time to read it. I really do wish you the best if I was given one wish it would be for everyone not just me to have a happy and fulfilling life…
You can email me if you want not that I can fix anything going wrong in you’re life… (songsxx@gmail.com)
You’re not the failure, life is. How do we know this? Because “Life” is losing people every second because of how bad it is. Life has always been the failure, but because it’s continuously been duped as being a “gift”, people don’t ever think such a thing. Humans are a big problem, but we are not the root of the problem. Don’t you think that if “life” were pain-free and fair, things would be pretty different? Don’t blame yourself on everything; you’re not the person inflicting all this pain on yourself. You don’t have to accept “life”…I surely don’t, along with most people who have common sense. Just try to protect yourself from these soul-feeders (yes I’m also talking about school) that you’re surrounded by. I know you can do it, because you sound like you’re a very intelligent person (don’t let the grades tell you otherwise…they are nothing more than letters on a sheet of paper).
You are not a failure.
Life is just difficult.
More so for some than others.
Look at nature.
How brutal and cold it is.
And whole species die every day.
With all our technology and knowledge, we cannot escape our instincts.
And those instincts cause some of us to harm our fellow human.
You can try as hard as you can and just hope for the best.
All any of us can do.