Is it really that bad if I kill myself because I’m too tired to live anymore? I’m thinking of setting a date. Now to push everyone away.
Today was really hard. Couldn’t study for my final because all I kept thinking of were ways to get away with dying.
I failed my final. Possibly didn’t pass that class. Money spent for nothing. Parents are going to give me shit of course. I won’t ever finish college.
I lost a family member today. Talked someone out of not killing herself over a guy. Isn’t that weird how we can tell people it’s going to be okay and how suicide isn’t the answer?
When I’m cutting, I feel so in control of how deep I can go. I want to just hit a vein and be like […]
I thought I was getting better, but everything just seems to fall apart after a while. I met someone I’ve truly fallen in love with, and I’m afraid he will leave soon.
Who wouldn’t get tired of someone who cries every night and freaks out about everything? Who wants to lay in bed with someone with open wounds and stained pants or bedsheets? Sure you might say, “He loves you for who you are even on your bad days.” But what if my bad days are every day? I feel like he will get tired of saying everything will be okay and get annoyed with how […]
It’s been years since I posted. My first post was when I was a sophomore in high school I think. I’m finishing up my second year in college now.
I guess being suicidal and severely depressed never goes away even when things change. I was a year clean from self harm. It’s all starting again.
I have nobody.
I have no real friends. Once I try to talk about my feelings or get help, I just end up getting ignored. I know it’s not easy but please don’t leave me alone in this again. I can’t breathe
i need to get away and drugs and these fucking razors aren’t doing anything anymore.
I’m so alone and tired
I’ve done it this time. Too deep. Way too deep. I actually didnt mean for it to be so deep. Wtf is wrong with me? Ugh should I try sewing it? I cannot go to the hospital. The funny thing is, I can’t feel a thing. Lol
Yup, some things have happened since i last came here. i think i’m in love, but i hate getting hurt so much. My best friend came into town but right now she’s not here. Thats pretty much all that has happened that is good. I still am depressed and suicidal but again, i can’t leave my best friend alone in this cruel world. Wish i could go right now. Still am addicted to cutting. I’ve burned myself but its not the same without any blood. I’ve seriously been thinking about drugs. I need something that will help relax me and maybe i’d finally get some […]
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I start to cry again. My chest will hurt every time the emptiness comes. It hurts so bad. I know it is not heart burn. I know I should be excited that school is going to end Thursday but I’m not. It’s hell being at school especially when people brag about their bf or gf but it is also hell at home. I can’t leave my home because well, I have nobody to hang out with anymore. Ugh…the pain. Although I am kind of happy that I also get my braces off Thursday. I’m […]
Things were starting to get better. It’s been almost two weeks since the last time I sliced myself. I finally told my dad to get me a therapist since my mom doesn’t give a shit. I guess my dad forgot about me again. Not a surprise, my family seems to forget about me alot. I even tell them I’m their forgotten child.
I really hate my family. Especially my mom. She thinks it’s hilarious to make fun of me. She’s over done it today. Haha very funny to make fun of your daughter in front of my dad and little brother. I always just […]
I hate being alone. My so called best friend from school isn’t talking to me anymore. She walked past me with just giving me a smile. Usually she would say something and give me a hug. I know I’m not her bestfriend anymore now that she replaced me. It hurts to always worry if I’m going to have someone to eat with at lunch or even if I’m going to have a partner while doing partner work in class. I hate to be alone. I have my bestfriend that lives in Cali. I wish she could be here to keep me happy. Honestly, if […]
I don’t think I can live for a few more years. What’s the point anyway? I’m tired of being in this war of life and death. I’ll just let death win soon. You know what would be cool? If someone decided to just kill me. If I were to die right now, I’m ready. People die everyday, what’s one more? Sure I might hurt a couple of feelings but I’m sure they’d forget about me. Most people do already and I’m still alive. Ha. I’m practically invisible. Oh man, life sucks.
Yeah, i haven’t gone on here for a long time. I thought i was actually getting better, but i just got worse. Also, if anyone remembers, my name here was MarissaSucks. Changed it since it negative and sounded odd. Your welcome.
I finally got the guts to tell my mom that i’m really depressed that i want to see a therapist since that would be helpful i guess. She said ok, but now its been like a month, i’m sure that she hasnt done anything. She thinks that this isn’t serious. I could be dead by tomorrow.
I’ve never hurt myself this bad before. I cry everynight […]
It used to be my favorite day but I’ve lost interest. I loved making people mad but then getting away with saying April fools. My parents are finally noticing how tired I am. But they do nothing to offer help. Ugh so many things going on in my head. It sucks to have an addiction to self harm. Maybe i should ask to see a therapist or Psychiatrist. I’m always depressed and I feel so dead than alive. I actually want help.
So my best friend lives in Cali where I used to live and it started to feel like we weren’t as close as best friends should be. But tonight I finally got the guts to tell her how I really feel and my addiction of cutting. She gave advice and told me things I should try. We had a really good talk and I feel kind of less lonely that I have someone to trust in fully with nothing to hide.
I’ve never been bullied before as much as i do now . what did I do to that it’s ok to hurt me. I am already hurting emotionally, good job for making it even harder. This guy always shakes me or touches my hair or my face. Yeah I laugh to make myself feel better. But I just want to cry and makes me feel pathetic that I can’t just make him stop. Usually when he would do something to me I would tell him stop (even though he doesn’t) but this time I didn’t say anything. It happened. I just wanted to cry and […]
I love this website and I’m glad I found it. You guys are really nice and caring. Even though I don’t talk to you guys as much, I read your comments and posts. I like to hear that I’m not alone. it feels nice at times that I can actually say what I wanna say without being embarrassed. Thank you for making me feel welcomed for once.
See that girl in class that never speaks a word unless spoken to? That’s me. That girl also has ears and feelings.
I hear you whisper my name in a conversation saying how weird I am.
I’m aware, thank you.
She’s really quiet but she is screaming inside.
I’ve tried to not be so quiet but it’s just who I am. I’m insecure and don’t like to be noticed.
But I wish I was that girl that can brighten up the room.
Now, the littlest things can make me hurt inside. It hurts to the point that I cut […]
I fail at keeping friends because I seem to push them away and then I get lonely.
I fail at love. I always get lead on and then they disappear like nothing ever happen. And now I’m falling in love with him.
I fail at protecting myself from bullies and just things that I let people to do me.
I fail in my schooling. My grades are always low because I can’t focus while I’m feeling this way..and it doesn’t help that my parents tell me “what happened? Now you are so stupid ”
I fail at keeping my own promises. I promised myself I […]
I wanted to call him so badly. I hurt him telling my story and my addiction of self harm. He needed to hear my voice and i needed to hear his. But i couldnt call him because my parents would hear the conversation. They know nothing about him or my problems. They don’t need to know and they probably don’t give a shit. They are part of the problem too anyways. I asked him how he was really feeling. And he answered with lonely. I feel horrible. I feel lonely everyday and i don’t want him to feel that pain. I don’t know the future […]
Too much pain just leads to too much blood.