I don’t know if you’re fat or ugly but I can say that your parents may never get over it. The loss of a child is one of the most difficult things one can face.
Hey, we all feel that way sometimes. It depends in what way you want to be wanted though. I’m wanted by my family, my parents say if they had a choice they wouldn’t have chosen anyone else. But it’s not the same as having friends or a girlfriend.
The world is just a one way street. Employers don’t give you a job because the like you, the sense of belonging is based on lining their pockets. Friends are your friends when you are fun to be around in clubs and the casino but when the chips are down they are nowhere to be seen.
In response to your statement, you may well be tired of being unwanted but you must consider the following:
a) have you really been rejected or is this a reaction to an incident or event
b) in what context are you unwanted or is it a generall feeling
c) is it feeling that way or the fact of it tiresome
d) maybe you are wanted because you put up a post on SP and some guy who was literally twiddling his thumbs waiting to write something is thankful, sad I know but meaningful nonetheless.
Yeah. Duke is talking about intimacy which transitions from your parents (if were lucky) to peers, lovers and ultimate life partnership and hobbies and a career and community.
great questions Duke posts for you.
When you are transitioning often one foot is off the edge of the river bank, the other is on the bridge itself and the bridge is wobbly cause you likely built it mostly by yourself and for the first time…hell you may be slogging through the current just trying to build the bridge and feel tire and ‘decide’ I’ll just succumb to the river BUT transitions are like that and once you get to the other side things may look different – you can always end it …so procrastinate on that and see if you were wrong or at least off in your perspective.
d) yep sometimes the faintest connections to humanity are a fiber in the strand in the rope attached to the wood that is one step of the bridge. (Not off the bridge…of, i wrote of the bridge)
You know you want to be wanted and that is a courageous first start ….some folks bury that vulnerability when they haven’t made up a way to deal with it and then punish the world for it or just rot quietly inside…they become the living dead….much scarier than us who are in pain and are facing it at least somewhat openly.
Oh and did I mention being wanted always has a cost so usually a lot of friggen bargaining is involved and renegotiating cause all us mortals have limited resources and particular needs.
I mean when Duke writes: it’s not the same as having friends or a girlfriend…he is talking about intimacy (i don’t mean sex, I mean closeness…really paying attention to someone and visa versa).
I believe many people get some strong connection through relationships at work or even just doing work that somewhere in their subconscious connects them through memory to someone they were once close to……but I haven’t yet..I’m still trying. I’m a bit less cynical than Duke in that work regard but wait till my coffee wears off.
Someday folks will hopefully be provided food, shelter, clothing, transportation, health care and education in exchange for doing what they can…..just about any work that is needed/wanted…including posting some place like this.
Cause you’re looking for it….want yourself…focus on that. Focus on how great you are, not needing to prove to yourself anything. Just make that choice. (that’s the most important thing)-making the choice to feel good about you without reason.
Then what you’re talking about dissipates and is not an issue any more and you can move on to looking forward to attracting good things in your life. But it’s important to you focus your energy on wanting to feel good. May take a bit to build up momentum but that’s alright…just go for it. Making the choice is all is required.
5 comments
I don’t know if you’re fat or ugly but I can say that your parents may never get over it. The loss of a child is one of the most difficult things one can face.
Hey, we all feel that way sometimes. It depends in what way you want to be wanted though. I’m wanted by my family, my parents say if they had a choice they wouldn’t have chosen anyone else. But it’s not the same as having friends or a girlfriend.
The world is just a one way street. Employers don’t give you a job because the like you, the sense of belonging is based on lining their pockets. Friends are your friends when you are fun to be around in clubs and the casino but when the chips are down they are nowhere to be seen.
In response to your statement, you may well be tired of being unwanted but you must consider the following:
a) have you really been rejected or is this a reaction to an incident or event
b) in what context are you unwanted or is it a generall feeling
c) is it feeling that way or the fact of it tiresome
d) maybe you are wanted because you put up a post on SP and some guy who was literally twiddling his thumbs waiting to write something is thankful, sad I know but meaningful nonetheless.
Yeah. Duke is talking about intimacy which transitions from your parents (if were lucky) to peers, lovers and ultimate life partnership and hobbies and a career and community.
great questions Duke posts for you.
When you are transitioning often one foot is off the edge of the river bank, the other is on the bridge itself and the bridge is wobbly cause you likely built it mostly by yourself and for the first time…hell you may be slogging through the current just trying to build the bridge and feel tire and ‘decide’ I’ll just succumb to the river BUT transitions are like that and once you get to the other side things may look different – you can always end it …so procrastinate on that and see if you were wrong or at least off in your perspective.
d) yep sometimes the faintest connections to humanity are a fiber in the strand in the rope attached to the wood that is one step of the bridge. (Not off the bridge…of, i wrote of the bridge)
You know you want to be wanted and that is a courageous first start ….some folks bury that vulnerability when they haven’t made up a way to deal with it and then punish the world for it or just rot quietly inside…they become the living dead….much scarier than us who are in pain and are facing it at least somewhat openly.
Oh and did I mention being wanted always has a cost so usually a lot of friggen bargaining is involved and renegotiating cause all us mortals have limited resources and particular needs.
I mean when Duke writes: it’s not the same as having friends or a girlfriend…he is talking about intimacy (i don’t mean sex, I mean closeness…really paying attention to someone and visa versa).
I believe many people get some strong connection through relationships at work or even just doing work that somewhere in their subconscious connects them through memory to someone they were once close to……but I haven’t yet..I’m still trying. I’m a bit less cynical than Duke in that work regard but wait till my coffee wears off.
Someday folks will hopefully be provided food, shelter, clothing, transportation, health care and education in exchange for doing what they can…..just about any work that is needed/wanted…including posting some place like this.
Cause you’re looking for it….want yourself…focus on that. Focus on how great you are, not needing to prove to yourself anything. Just make that choice. (that’s the most important thing)-making the choice to feel good about you without reason.
Then what you’re talking about dissipates and is not an issue any more and you can move on to looking forward to attracting good things in your life. But it’s important to you focus your energy on wanting to feel good. May take a bit to build up momentum but that’s alright…just go for it. Making the choice is all is required.