I went away for 3 days, to visit my sister at her university. It was a nice break from my parents. They’ve never really been the best to me. I had an awesome time, I returned in such good spirits because when I was over there I didn’t have  a care in the world. I was in a different city, a good 4 hours from where I live. I barely texted anyone so it was just a clear-mind vacation (I know it was only 3 days) So that was fun, but as soon as I get home they start being rude. My parents like to give me hell for giving them “short answers” when I really have NOTHING to say to them. The one thing that made me mad tonight was when my mom was complaining about how lazy I am. She finished by saying ” I sure just hope you pass this grade” and my heart sunk down to my chest. Just the way she said it, took such a harsh effect. She left my room, that being the last thing she said to me tonight. I just sat there teary-eyed. I don’t think she understands how hard I try in school, I focus on the classes I need to. I try my best and don’t get top grades. Am I supposed to be sorry? Shouldn’t she be happy I am at least trying, and not out doing drugs daily instead of going to class? I’ll gladly fucking start if she really has such little faith in my passing school. I wish they would just accept me, for who I am and understand the struggles that I go through. When your parents don’t believe in you, or have any kind of faith in you, what’s the point in trying for anything?
Tonight something crossed my mind. Something I had never thought before. I sit on my bed, and thought “I want to go home.” That’s it. That’s all that was on my mind after that. But where’s home? This is where i’m supposed to be, this is where i’m stuck. A place i’m afraid to call my home.
4 comments
Geez seems like u and i havethe same life. My mom always syays shes happy im not doing drugs ir pregnat unlike ssome of my cousins but that “i couldf be so much better”. The i want to homething, yeah ive been thinkimg that for afew yrs, whenver a day just sucks ass and i crying in bed i think that…im glad im norbthe only one but idk what it means fir either of us…stay strong
Yeah, I know right. I will never understand how parents can be so harsh. If I am ever a mom, I will always be proud of my kid as long as they try their best. I dunno, I hope it gets better for you as well. You stay strong too!
make the grades for yourself man. have faith in yourself. pass the grade. and make your momma proud. i dont think she meant to put you down that much when she said it. my momma says things that cut me down too. but i have learned to just take it light heartedly. we all say things we dont mean. and for you to respect your mommas words that much, she must love you! and i wanna go home too! but i make the best of my journey here. i never can get back yesterday. or the moments i had as i hung out with my family earlier today. you will be alright, if you wanna get back at your mom for saying that, go give her a big hug and tell her you love her. and tell her you want to do your best in school. tell her from your heart. love will always win my friend. hope you learn that for yourself.
what you said about wanting to go home really hit me-i’ve felt that way so much in my life. i just want to be somewhere where i’m safe and loved. have you tried talking to your mom about how you feel though? my dad and i fought all the time when i was in school because we had such a hard family life,and anyway,he would take out his frustration on me,always with the grades, or my friends,boyfriend,clothes-everything about me was wrong.and one day i sat him down,and i took his hand and i just cried,and i said-“i’m doing the very best i can.things are really hard for me right now”i didn’t yell,and there was no blame,i just shared how i was feeling so overwhelmed.after that things got better for a while. he just hadn’t realized what i had been going through too,he was caught up in his own life and his own problems. school is tough. being a teenager?? ughh. i think parents actually block it out or something,it’s like they forget how hard it is. but i think your mom really loves you.it just comes out as nagging,but she cares an awful lot. if she didn’t-she wouldn’t nag.:)