The first time i tried to end it all i was 14yrs old and have tried 6 times since then the last time was 3 yrs ago i still think about suicide at least 3 times a day. The reasons have changed with each attempt i have been diagnosed with having a problem dealing with emotional stress and depression they have given me anti depressants which don’t do anything for me and there are no miracle cures i know this and now things have gotten worse i don’t get much sleep (about an hour and a half tops a night) my doctor has given me sleeping pills which only work if i take 6 pills and the recommended dose is 2 max. Of late i am faced with a decision that i just can’t make i have 2 children with 2 women a boy and a girl, i last held my daughter 6yrs ago and only see my son on weekends i love both my children and their mothers and always will i know everyone thinks that you should consider how your loved ones will feel if you kill yourself and all i can say is that if they knew how much it takes to face each day for me! my daughter lives in south africa and my son is here in england i came to this country to make a better life but its all gone wrong and now i cannot do this anymore i have found that after 7 yrs of trying to make things work i have failed but now i can’t go back to home (zimbabwe) i spend most night now crying and contemplating death but truth be told the love for my children and their feeling keeps me from suicide but how much more can i take i don’t know.
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Hey you should never have to worry about if they will love you if you do end up killing your self. But think of it this way. You have to kids that loook up to you. And if you were to end your life, How would you be able to see them grow up. And explain to them when they feel like suicide might be the only way out that its not. You are and can be a survier. I believe in you. i dont know if you have a facebook but theres a cool page its called awarness and it foocus on self harm. but they make bracelets and donate the money to help people with these problems
Facebook.com/WillYouStopTheHurt
Who will walk your little girl down the aisle? Or who will give your son advice when he needs it? If you killed yourself it would leave a big gaping hole in your children’s lives. Just because you don’t see them doesn’t mean they don’t talk about you. You’ll save your children so much by just staying alive just call your daughter, or visit her. You’re not helping any of them by already giving up the fight. If you died could you honestly say you’ve said all the things to your children you’d want them to know? If you left this life could you say you’re proud and happy? If not, change your outlook, volunteer at the humane society, work with disabled children, or build homes in Haiti. You just have to see the beauty of life.
Im not going to say that i know what your going through, because i dont. i dont know how hard it is for you, i dont know how severe your pain is but i do understand a little of how you are feeling. Human beings are designed to deal with stress by running away, some people do this for so long that it builds up and they break down.. But if you try extremely hard to get through this tough time (because it wont be like this forever) things will improve. if you just think of those two beautiful children that you have you will improve your life. dont think that you havent held your baby girl in 6years.. think about the overwhelming joy that you will have when you hold her (when you meet again in the future).. let that keep you strong. Think how lucky you are to own a daughter and a son, even if you dont see them as often as you would like, you still have them there. and they have you, they NEED you! but you need them as much as they need you, never forget that. positive thinking….. thats all it takes. if you think positively your mind will automatically be like ‘i can not wait to see my kids again’ instead of ‘why cant i see them all of the time.. its not fair’ turn heartache and pain into love and joy and excitement! Just hold on there for a little while longer and you will love life again!<3