I posted an article here on the thoughts of committing suicide. I just realized that my inspiration (a black and white that is) to commit suicide is my cousin who unfortunately took his own life.
The story is that he does not want his girlfriend to get an abortion. They argued, and shot his girlfriend slightly on her face. Then, he shot himself. The girl fortunately survived, as well as the baby girl. However, my cousin fought till the end until even the most advanced machines cannot save him anymore. I know he is in an immaculate peace right now, and I still wonder if God would save him knowing that the baby will survive.
But I digress. I still can’t get a job. I only have a number of friends. My parents fight behind my back. My brother and my sister has their own lives and a job can sustain themselves decently. I am a worthless person. I do not want to celebrate my birthday anymore (during fall) because I do not see the point of celebrating if a chaotic life will be inevitable. Please if you know someone that is in dire need of organs, please let me know. So that after someone got the usable organs in my body, I can say that I accomplished the mission that god (or whoever you believe/or if you believe in one) gave to me and I will say goodbye.