Hello guys
Heres an update on the last few weeks for those you want to Know. 🙂
So things have been going great with Jen, this is the first night we have spent apart in 2 weeks, Because we really hit it off, seriously she is perfect for me. Smart, funny and Beautiful. BUT
Yesterday she told me she has a seven year old son…..
I was truly shellshocked, i was speachless because i was freaking out man, i am not ready to be a dad, i have allways wanted children but he is not my child and he will never see me as his dad no matter how much im in his life. So yeah im not sure what to do. She had him when she was 17, she got drunk and passed out at aparty,so she doesnt know who the father is.
I kinda need advice here people, this is not my area. Can i ever love this child? How will this change our relationship? what is expected of me?
What the hell do i do?
Im still in shock i think.
5 comments
Hi Unique… Just take it slowly. Get to know her as a person, a friend, and a girlfriend. While it’s probably too early to think about serving as his dad, perhaps she’s assessing in some capacity whether you could eventually fulfill that role. After all, the decisions she makes have an impact on her son. With that said, do what you normally do. She obviously felt comfortable with you to share more information about herself.
I have dated women who were parents… After a period of time, the three of us (her, the kid, and I) would go out together. She would introduce me as her friend. It could be something as simple as going out to eat… or something like Six Flags (amusement park), the beach, or a baseball game. I’d talk with her child about school, hobbies, homework, and other age-appropriate stuff.
Just be yourself.
thanks D, I get what you saying, But i just dont know how im supposed to act around him, am i ment to act like a dad, the cool uncle or just a family friend, i guess i should ask Jen what she wants.
You kind of have the best of both worlds … getting to experience a child without the actual responsibility/ownership. do NOT “try to be dad” you’re not … let the child choose o place you in that role … but you act like a responsible caring adult – as you would with a niece/nephew or young cousin.
the mother makes the rules – if asked, you reinforce HER rules but you don’t get to instate your OWN rules … that said, you are due the same level of respect that the child should already know to give any adult … think of yourself more like a teacher and mom dictates the lesson plan.
the seriousness of your relationship dictates when an what levels of authority you can attain but always defer to mom for final say.
Enjoy the time – it’s fun … play 🙂
kid dawg
FYI – Parenting is not about power and control … it’s about teaching and guidance.
guide dawg
Thanks Dawg, that is great advice 🙂