Should I Talk?

Hey rebel. I want to start by being a bit objective here. Who exactly did your friend tell on you to? Your parents? Her parents? Just wondering, my thought is that if she told your parents or somebody close to you, she may have been worried about you. Another thing is that as someone – me – who is a terrible liar and gets “stressed” when keeping serious issues a secret, I can understand why she told. Although, it is selfish if she only did it for her benefit, which is why I ask who she told. And her motive behind why she told. And could it be possible that she didn’t mean what she said to you, that she “never thought of you as a friend”, maybe she said it in a moment of anger, but didn’t actually mean that.

Now I’m going to not be objective… if she hasn’t bothered contacting you either in a month, I’d say that she meant what she said and it’s probably not worth you contacting her. A true friend, that is concerned for you and worried about your self-harm and depression, would have at least tried to apologize and ask if you were okay. I mean, it’s up to you if you send her a video, but I don’t think it’d help. Another thing I’d suggest is not sending her the video, but putting it in your own words. Tell her how YOU feel personally. After all, you were friends with her, not the guy in the video.

I’ve been through something.. sort of similar. Chances are, if she hasn’t gotten in contact with you yet, she never will. And, trust me, unless you think she was really worth it, it’s best to just let it go. Which is much much easier said than done. I know. It sucks, it really does. But as someone wise told me once (amakua) people will come and go in your life, they’re here for a season or a reason. And it’s something you just have to accept. Honestly, I think your friend was childish in criticizing you instead of trying to help you. And then to add in the age difference just drives it home further. 2 years. Ha. I don’t think that what you tell her will really make a difference or an impact, then again, I don’t know her, you do. It doesn’t matter if you’re the first one to contact her, because in my opinion, you deserve a better friend. Maybe you can find one here, rebel. But hopefully it’ll be in person. Good luck with whatever you do, though.

I know how you feel, rebel, I do. I lost two of my “best friends” over a year ago. And I’m still hurting from it. Not as much, but sometimes it still stings. I wanted so much to let them know how they hurt me. Or I wanted them to feel like I did. I wanted them to be hurting too. How many tears did I cry over those people – it’s not worth it. It’s such a cliche, but it’s their loss. It’s your friend’s loss. What kind of a friend yells at you and calls you childish? What kind of a friend doesn’t take your self-harm and depression seriously? And you should be her equal. Obviously she thinks she’s sooo much more mature and too old for you. Which is a bunch of shit. So it’s up to you if you contact her, but it’s not going to change who she is. And it might not even make you feel better or bring closure. In my opinion, you should let it go and try to move on and look to making better friends, as tough as that is and as much as it hurts. It’s your call.