the Mentor

She ran from the school, crying, but racing so that know one could see her tears.
She felt alone, suffered alone, in a roaring silence.
what had M called it?
the Black Velvet Curtain
The place deep inside where she hid, somehow knowing no one would even be looking for her.

It all started when HE asked her best friend out instead. “He only used me to get to my friend”
And when she heard the hateful things he called her behind her back it got worse.
Fatty, *****, ho.
She knew what she needed to do, she had a shrt piece of razor hidin in her bedroom, she would Cut herself up when she got there.
It wasn’t even like she wanted them to feel sorry for her and she didn’t really even want to be dead, she just wanted to hurt, to hurt so much on her flesh that the ain inside would be drowned out.
She was becoming the Cutter, just like the other crazy kids at school everyone hated.
She ran up to her house.
There was a car.
The same car as before, her thoughts became confused.
A relaxed looking woman stepped from the car, not quite thirty, but with a wisdom in her eyes, as if being there once could make you forever strong.
As soon as the crying girl saw the broad smile on the woman’s face she ran to her and lept into her arms.
“I know hon, I know” the woman softly spoke.
The girl melted slightly and her tears changed, her crying, once angry and forced, became softer and less frantic. Safer somehow, without knowing it she started to heal.
Although she had only met this woman two days before, she knew at this moment she had maybe found what she really needed, not a boyfriend/lover, or a best/friend or a parent/teacher;
She had found a Mentor.

In your painful struggle to navigate the tiny ledge between suffering and suicide, one factor beyond all others has been shown to be the single most effective creator of hope and peace for young people.
the Mentor.

A mentor doesn’t have to be your parent, sibling, pastor, teacher, school counselor, or friend.

A Mentor is a well meaning trustworthy adult whose relationship with you helps you to heal in many ways.

the Mentor has several special qualities to help you heal, you will recognize your Mentor by these qualities;

Non judgemental
Your Mentor will not pass judgement on you, will not chastise you, will not blame you. Your Mentor can listen to all you have to say.

Genuine
Your Mentor is a real person, you can feel that your Mentor is not bullshitting you or being phony.

Unconditional positive regard
You Mentor accepts you simply for being you, gay, straight, bi, trans, cutter, suicidal, whatever you need to be.

Caring
Your Mentor cares about you as a person, cares about your safety, and cares about situation.

Boundaries
Mentors have strong boundaries. They do fall in love with you, they do not have sex with you. They do not tell everyone all of your secrets.

Empathy
Your Mentor resonates with the emotions you feel. Even though your Mentor hasn’t experienced what you have, your Mentor intuitively knows how you feel.

You are the Children of Earth;
The infinitely beautiful expression of life in this moment, in this universe.
you are far to valuable to be left to painful fate.

In your quest to end your suffering you will often falsely believe that one perfect love partner can save you. A new boyfriend or girl friend might feel like the one thing that can change your painful existance.

This is true but only in that you yourself must be that love partner.
You must learn to love yourself, be kind to yourself, be your own best friend.

But depression, suffering, cutting and suicidal thoughts are issues way to big to tackle on your own. Often your family and friends, teachers and lovers just make it worse. Sometimes they have caused your suffering.

You deserve the unconditional support of someone just a little stronger than you can be right now.
It’s just a matter of finding them.
Try calling help lines, reaching out to grown ups you like, talking to professionals outside of the school system.
In fact your Mentor is out there right now, looking for you.
Help them find you.

And what if your situation is so terrible you can’t trust those who are supposed to care for you, look after you?
Maybe your parents beat you, rape you, hurt you, ignore you, neglect you?
Who can you find to help you then?
How can you get help if you can’t even run away?
Who can you find to help you when there is no one who wants you?

the Guardian