I am just sitting here and I just randomly start crying… I wanna just cut or kill myself so that I don’t cry anymore…. I hate crying…. I grew up learning that it was wrong to cry and that we couldn’t talk about anything… So I don’t talk to anyone about it… I wish that I could….. I wanna just open my arm and bleed out… Idk anymore
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Well I hope you know crying is not wrong – it’s okay, and it’s a good way to release what you’re feeling. Bundling all your emotions inside and refusing to talk about it isn’t the way to go either.
I know it isn’t easy to just randomly start talking about your feelings and open up, but I think it is something good to work towards. Letting out your thoughts and emotions help – just the release is a relief. Plus talking and figuring out how to help can be good too… It’s better than just always being angry and sad, so resorting to cutting and punching – ’cause those are just some quick fixes to what you have inside, but the problems and feelings always seem to come back since you’re not addressing them.
Crying is the best way to let out emotion. I cant even tell you how many tears have been shed from my eyes to keep me from going mad. Who ever told you it was a sign or weakness or it is wrong is living in a life I have never seen. If it wasn’t for tears my life most likely would have ended many years ago. You keep on crying if it makes you feel better. As far as the hate of it…….well it sure is better than keeping it all balled up inside.
Look for a support group or some help from someone who will not judge. When I lost my brother to suicide a year ago a support group was my release, my shelter from the horriable storm of sadness.
Give it a try, i think it may help
I wish you the best……
Sometimes families have rules and secrets.
All family groups have a family system, a way of interacting.
Most families are dysfunctional.
Dysfunctional families will often have one family member who hurts, and acts out more than the others.
This person is the Symptom bearer.
They get all the negative attention for being crazy, but actually everyone is crazy, you are just stuck in that role for your family and the family system won’t let you change.
Growing up learning that you shouldn’t cry is a family rule.
I dare you to choose the more painful option.
I dare you to cry instead of cutting.
I dare you to change the rules and break the system.
Om shanti