I can truly understand how people here feel. I have a good life. Yet the littlest things set me off into this downward spiral. And I know it could be much worse. Fortunately I have managed to keep things under control. But it just sucks because I shouldn’t feel this way. I am independent, I have some good friends, and I successfully graduated from a great college. I have a job I like and family/pets to keep me company. But still, I feel like many of my friends and family don’t get me. I just don’t want to worry about tomorrow. People talk about the future and sometimes I cannot even begin to think about mine because I am not sure if I will make it that far.
How horrible is it that I don’t worry about my 30th bday because I don’t think I will have one (I am 24 now). I took charge, saw a doctor. Went to therapy. It helped for a while. Then I was back where I started. Meds were upped. Now it’s all happening again. And my little “episodes” because more and more severe. I will admit last time I became truly upset after a breakup I took a few too many of my meds … not to kill myself, more to numb myself. But I realize now that could have very easily been an unintended consequence. And now, a guy I wasn’t even dating (we hooked up and hung out a few times) is talking to some other girl he wants to date and it makes me feel unreasonable sad. Even angry because they guy is clearly a jerk.
My life is good. Why can’t I be happy. I wish I had more friends who had depression simply so they would understand me. I feel like sometimes I just want to sleep my life away with my cat next to me (who weirdly seems to comfort me more than any human can).
4 comments
Watch this movie when you can ‘Eat, Pray, Love’. I am sure it will comfort you.
I too have a good life – yet I feel depressed. It scares me…
Well, you’re not alone.
Life is so complicated sometimes.. i’m fairly new here but i’ve read so many stories. I want to say i understand what you’re going through because i feel like i’m going through some of the same things. It’s unique that such a “great” life, as in family, friends, school, work, etc, that you and i seem to both have to a fair extent, can still have so much sadness sometimes. I don’t even know where it comes from but it’s there. Sleeping life away… it’s such a beautiful thought. If you’re looking for friends with depression.. well.. i guess that’s why we’re all here.