I miss yesterday. I hate crashing. I’d give anything to feel that good again; I can’t really remember or imagine what it’s like now. I know it wasn’t really real; my circumstances haven’t changed. But today everything’s a different color. Today is just the sick realization that nothing’s going to be okay. If I could just sleep maybe things will be better – I can never predict one hour to the next so maybe…yeah maybe. My down time’s usually a stretch so I think I’m in for the long haul now. Almost 4am. Agitated depression may be my least favorite. I’ve been awake for almost 42 hours so maybe the most I can hope for is I’ll just sleep through the next two days. This is so stupid.
I don’t want to be me anymore.
3 comments
What did you crash from?
Yeah I can never tell how lonq my down time will be,then aqain who can?
Hey random question,are you from Texas?It’s cause It’s four and when you posed this,It was about to be four.I just found Out someone was around were I am!
@Zuckerguss I have days where I’m super high and everything’s awesome for no reason and then all of a sudden it’s like the shock of running your car into the side of a building and everything is horrible again.
@Lifeishorrible yeah I guess you’re right, I just feel like everyone else usually feels pretty average unless something really great/awful happens and I’m trying to balance on a fence with no idea from one minute to the next which way I’m going to fall.
No sorry not from Texas. We are on the same longitudinal line though so same timezone :P. Sort of comforting to me though that even someone so far away from me can empathize – so used to feeling like an alien in my own house.