My whole life has been a battlefield. It’s just I am not like most people I know. Maybe I am way too sensitive for the kind of world I live in. I hate the ethics of how the world works, or possibly the lack of. Anytime I get out of my house I look around me  and think “Why do people choose to be bad?”… Yes, many people are simply bad people or just confused. Maybe if we had the answers to life after death, then maybe the world would work in unison, but obviously we’ll never know until we face death. Now I have never been the type of person to give up, or the kind of person who does not appreciate the beauty that is still present with us all, but the ugly seems  to stand out a lot more. War exists in all aspects of life and I don’t think that people care. They might not be aware of the shit that goes on behind those funny ads on the television or the cosmetics that they put on their faces. The corporate world seems to be lead by many Satans and our world is a living hell. I just don’t seem to understand why people are so selfish, why people don’t care about other people?  It just makes no sense to do harm to any other living being, that includes animals as well. We all feel pain and it seems that I am loosing the battle at the young age of 22. I can’t bear all the wrongful things that have been done to me. I look onto the life long of experiences I am supposed to have and think that it is just a burden. Life is just tedious and filled with pain. All the relationships that once flourished in your life end, one way or another. The phrase “everything good comes to an end” suddenly seems so real. Even the competitiveness in places such as school makes me grieve because people just want to be better, they aren’t thinking of the others. Of course, there are those few beautiful people in this world and I do appreciate their goodness. People really don’t realize how much a smile can affect another. I try my hardest not to judge others, mostly when I see people in the streets, you really don’t know what they’ve been through. Everyday I put on my mask. My mask is just my defense mechanism, I put it on because I’m scared of what people would think of my vulnerability, but I am tired. My hope is almost drained and I wonder how people just don’t put two and two together. If we actually acted the way Jesus supposedly said then this world would be much more comfortable for everyone. I am referring to the golden rule and in no way do I associate myself with any religion, but the message is true. I just wish people would appreciate the existence of such beauty, even if you it’s hard to find I am sure that everyone has or had someone that they came home to everyday and thought “how luck am I to have this in my life”. My thoughts are pure, but I seem to getting farther and farther from my true self. The only way  I am able to cope is through this detachment of my true self. I hate the disrespect that is around us, it just makes the idea of  life that much harder to swallow…