This is gonna sound stupid, but while everyone else has a reason to be suicidal, i dont. I havent had some one i love die, of i havent had a recent divorce.. So what gives me the excuse of wanting to end my life? That’s the question i ask myself daily.
I’ll tell my story, but just flick to someone else’s if mine isnt good enough..Well, im 15, im tall and im..pretty..i think. thats what im told.
im tanned and toned, im and irish dancer and a great sporting teenager, i compete in any sport i can do, and learn any i cant. But i have world championships 3 days before my state exams. My mum and step dad have created alot of presure because they want me to do really well, in both school and dancing.
This year due to my state exams, my parents cut all my sport except dancing, to ensure study time, i used to love dancing but now because of the position im in, it causes me more stress than joy. everyday i train, everyday my school teachers pile on the homework and i dont find time to study, i am up every night until very late hours like 2 am just to get the homework finished. Because of all the stress im under, i now have a rash on my face and my hair is falling out. I have some very close friends in places that are a long journey by car and i dont get to see them, so i text or call them, but 2 months ago, my mother took away my phone and facebook, so now i have no contact with the people i love, i have not had contact at all with them and i have plunged into a depression. i am not allowed to have a boyfriend because of my exams and fierce timetable. I long to be loved and for my parents to undersatnd that i cant cope with the pressure, i am cracking under it and have no way of contacting anyone to just talk to about it. i dont talk to my friends in school about this because i just cant. I can only talk to a very very close friend of mine who used to be a boyfriend,we have a very strong bond but he lives so far away that i cannot see him, and now i have no means of contact.
I just wish someone could help me out. I cry every night and no one notices my sadness.
Please, if anyone reads this, can you try to help me out.
7 comments
Hello 🙂
It sounds like you have lots of reasons that are making you feel like that. Would your parents listen to you if you tried to tell them how the stress was affecting you? It seems like they’ve gone too far in controlling your life, but I don’t think they would if they knew how awful it made you feel. If you keep going this way, you might not be able to feel good when you succeed in school and dancing. If you find it hard to talk to them, maybe you could write them a letter first? Especially when you’re working so hard and so much, the least you should have is someone to talk to about it with. You could ask for your phone and Facebook back, and hopefully find some way of cutting back on some of the work, or at least finding a way to spend a little bit of time away from it. I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to them though, or if there’s things holding you back. If you want to talk more, I’ll check here, or email me if you want to – trix1915@gmail.com. I think you’re doing a great job of coping under all the pressure.
I can’t believe that you have so much pressure. I do alot of activities too on top of junior year in high school. It has been very tough. I’ve been depressed for years thhough…not just for a short period of time. I think you should talk to your mom about the pressure and not having your friends to talk to. I don’t think she should’ve taken your phone away but I don’t know. Maybe if she won’t give your phone back until after exams maybe she could let you have a specific phone time where you can unwind and talk to your ex.
I try really hard, always, not to say ‘it gets better.’ But in your case, I truly believe it. It sounds to me (and stop me if I’m wrong) like if you give it some time for things to pass, they will. You may not come out from under ALL the pressure your peers/parents have put on you, but after exams and such have passed, that will be a lot off your plate. Try to hang in there until then, and then reevaluate your situation. All the best <3
Hi Kittycant
You can not choose your family – What they think is irrelevant.
i grew up in the ‘perfect’ family but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
You are 15 and thin- you are hot to most males in the universe. Seriously, a fit young woman is attractive, one who knows her own mind is gorgeous.
You need to say ‘fuck you’ to all the negative crap coming your way and say, I am hot, smart and self assured, the world is my oyster.
believe me, as a male, I love females, ones that are fit are hot. You are fit, you are hot. Take advantage of you advantage.
ILU take care sweety. I have kids your age and I know what you are going through. I realy care about you.
M
Note – You are 15 I am 50. I am not saying I want a relationship with you, I am saying that any male around your age is naturally attracted to you. That said, I do care for you and hope you live a super fantistic life! If you need help, I am there for you.
M
Suicidal thoughts are often the result of feeling powerless and under to much pressure and it sounds like you have trouble with both.
Obviously your parents don’t see this.
You need a trusted adult in your life to help advocate with your parents.
Your feelings are real, and you need some way to get them out.
Good luck
Guys, i really really appreciate the advice and the dact that there is people out there that care enough to write me a paragraph. Thank you guys ever so much. I know i am not bad off, family-wise, Im not abused or anything. But my family is limited to people who are actually my family. My mum split from my Biological dad when i was 2, married again, had a son (my step bro) Divorced my ‘stepdad’ and then remarried a few years ago, had two children and i have a new ‘stepdad’ i also have to new step sisters that came with this dad. My stepdad is always refering to the fact he knows me so well, (whenever we are in fights) how he talks about my youth, when really, he was never there, how does he know how i feel..? How does he know that i dont want to live..?
But you know, ill shut up ranting, because its ruining my almost ‘Okay’ mood. So i would just like to say another huuuge thank you to all the amazing people who have helped me through another day <3 Godbless <3