May 5 2012 Day 1
Today I had an idea. It is a good idea I think. From this day I will stay sober! There is this really disgusting habit(addiction) I have and I do believe it influenced my life in a way I never imagined. I know I can’t get the girl I love, even if I stay sober now for ever, but I can help myself a lot. I hope my emotional roller coaster will stop. It is not a serious problem, nothing life threating, but my addiction is bad for me. Very bad. I am feeling so sick every time after I lived out my addiction.
Nearly everyone here has far more worser problems then I have. Please don’t be angry with me if this post was a waste of time for you. I just wanted to tell it to someone and I when I am in trouble I will post here again. I know that at least some of you are caring, although you don’t know me.  You people here are the first ones who I tell it that I have a problem AND I ADMIT IT. I HAVE A PROBLEM! A really disgusting weird problem. Often I was so down in the dumps and my addiction made me a little bit happier, but I see now that it was a huge mistake. It didn’t made me feel better, instead it kept me in my cage, my own mental cage. I had some weeks in the last years were I tried to stay sober, but I wasn’t determined enough to stop for ever, so I just started it again and again. If  I get into problems with my addiction I will let you know, because you people here are the only one I can talk to without be embarrassed or ashamed.
I didn’t told you what my problem is, it is just to embarrassing for me to tell it to someone.
But TODAY I will stop it.
I WILL quit it , F O R E V E R !
Wish me luck.
Peace
4 comments
`kept in my cage, my own mental cage`
people here understand you.
but they can’t help you.
they can make you feel better, but your addiction can do that too…
i know this is harsh but helping you and making you feel better isn’t the same thing.
it’s absolutely not. you hurt people around you with your addiction, YOU hurt them
now it might mot matter, but on day, please wake up an try to care for the people around you.
sorry, but what do you mean? I am trying to sob my bad habit from this day and I hope it will help myself. My “addiction” doesn’t hurt someone in my life. Its just me and no one else. No one knows about it and no one is hurt by my addiction
good luck you can fuckin do it! I know it
Good luck to you – you can do it one day at a time. And your problems are important. We all have them and they mean something.