I’m tired of trying

What is the whole point of living anyways?  When you get to the point where all you feel is numbness and pain, why should you go forth in life?  When every waking moment of your life you unintentionally hurt the people who are supposed to love you, why not end their pain?  It would be selfish of me if I continued to live.  My death it seems is inevitable, the people who are closest to me all know that at some point I will end my life.  So why not end the pain now?  I’m tired of pretending to live, when in truth, I already am dead inside, and I have been dead for years now. I just don’t think that it is possible for anything to ever improve.  It seems that no matter what I do, or how hard I try, nothing ever changes, and i’m tired, so, so, tired of everything.