My choices

We all make choices
Some are easier than others
Like what to wear and what to eat
Others are harder
Like how to schedule our day and who to meet

But it seems like my choices are harder still
Something abnormal from all the rest
While my friends are deciding which movie is the best
I’m deciding if myself I’m going to kill

I feel so jealous of all those other kids
They seem to have all their shit together
While I sit here in the corner
Trying to keep my wrists together

While the rest smile I wear a frown
While some look up to the stars I look down
Others seem so happy to be alive
I’m in denial that I’m still breathing
While others work and strive
I sit here seething

My choices are warped from the mold
I don’t do as I’m told
I choose to drink and smoke and cut
I choose to sink deeper into this rut
Because it’s become my home
And I don’t know
Anything else but pain.