So this is my first post and I don’t really know what to get out of this. I am young and some would say attractive. I have a husband, a son, and one on the way….so what is my problem? I feel selfish that I have these thoughts, these feelings. I AM AT A LOSS. I am in this losing battle. I live with my in-laws and many would say that that is my problem. They definitely play an important role in my misery. I have lived here for a year now and I can say that I actually hate them…I hate their voices and when I here them coming up the steps, I CRINGE. I know I need my own place and now with a baby coming…the pressure is on.
Many years ago…many meaning less than 10 years ago. I actually attempted suicide. I tried to hang myself and it worked…but my brother walked in and got me down. I had skin ripped off my neck all the way to my left ear. Yes I did this with people in the house, but they never came in my room so I assumed that I was okay. I would have died then. I was in a bad place. I am grateful that my brother came in. I don’t want to die…I just want to stop going through this stress of life. Please any serial killers out there…DO NOT TARGET ME… I just want some advice to deal with stress and pain of everyday.
Hopefully I will never have to post again…right now, this helped.
4 comments
How old is your son?
Don’t be ashamed of expressing how you feel. Yes, having external beauty and healthy family are blessings, but what matters more is what’s going on inside. If your heart is not content, then blessings don’t seem as rich. You should really think about what’s making you so unhappy. You know yourself better than anyone does. Living with your inlaws might be unpleasant, but it may not be the root of your unhappiness since this is not a new feeling for you. Your discomfort with your present living situation might have been triggered by an emotion or situation from your past that you haven’t dealt with yet. (Sometimes things we haven’t addressed represent themselves in different ways, until we get to the bottom of them.) Counseling can be a great resource if you’d like helping sorting though this. And once you’ve started uncovering what’s behind your sadness, it might be helpful to start planning for the future. While your present situation might not change overnight, working towards a plan, even if takes some time, might lift your spirits. Best wishes!
Just tell the husband how you feel. Don’t use hateful words when describing his parents.
Thank you betterdayscoming…I feel like I just neeeded to vent and having someone be a understanding person is what I needed at that moment.
Quad-Dingle… You are so right. I should not say I hate them. I really don’t. I am just feeling cornered and unable to take care of my family. Like in their eyes we are still children and not a separate family. I do not know if that makes any sense to you. I just need to some space is all.
I need to go to counseling…who has money for that? I used to go while I was in college. My counselor actually said that she was amazed that I seemed normal considering my past. (Can a counselor say that?…:It is amazing that you are so normal?”) I asked my husband while we were dating and he did not seem as pleased with her as I was. Oh yeah…she was also my pre-marriage counselor. The school had only one free counselor on campus.
I have this story…kind of funny now, back then it wasn’t. In college I was stressed out about school and bills and what not and I started feeling really down and my counselor was on vacation and I haven’t talked to my boyfriend…now husband about my problems yet so I called the suicide hotline that they advertised on campus. Guess what? No one would answer!!! I kept calling and it was the longest night I ever had. Oh yeah, I don’t do drugs and I didn’t drink at the time so I had no release from my mind. I just remembered that day and that feeling….I was sad I guess.
I need to find a counselor to talk to about my problems. My family should not have to worry about these things.