Alright so I don’t really know how to do this, but whatever.I’m just going to share my story. Last year I got into alcohol and drugs. I was drinking, smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, and huffing. I don’t know how to explain it. I just wasn’t me. Hanging out with the wrong people. One day at midnight, well, September 7th. It was officially the first day of school and I was dreading it. So, me and my friend took 8 triple c’s or cold cough pills. I knew nothing about it other than it would make me feel good. And I’ve always had problems with depression and anxiety. So I wanted to feel good and happy. I mean, who wouldn’t want to feel alright? I fell asleep and when I woke up at three, I tried puking because I felt as if I had to. But I couldn’t. Went out to the living room, put on the AC and fell asleep. I woke up at six and got ready for school. My friend was getting ready to go home. She didn’t go to my school. Anyways, I was feeling good. Really good. Awake, alert, and most important, happy. I was walking to the bus stop with my best friend. And I told her what I did. But I assured her it would be alright. I was almost to the bus stop and I puked up what looked whitish/clear. Didn’t think much about it. She gave me a piece of gum and she rubbed my back. The whole day at school was good. I was still up, maybe too energetic. Still not sure. When lunch came I didn’t eat a bite. It was so unattractive. I wasn’t hungry. After lunch I was still all good. All day I felt good. I was excited to get back home so I could pop some more pills with my two friends and my step-sister. We sat in my room. Me and my friends took 16. And my sister took 8. We washed the pills down with water. We didn’t feel it. We sat outside and decided to smoke a newport. That was my favorite. When we got up it hit us. My knees wobbled and my sister and my friends had to help me inside. I sat down on the couch while my two friends and sister went to the bathroom to freshen up. I sat on the couch and I was staring at the corner of the ceiling. My mouth hung open and my eyes were wide open. But they felt heavy. As I stared at the ceiling I thought I WAS an airplane, flying over a field. One of my friends and my sister started talking to me. They seemed to come out of no where. “Hey we have to go check on Kourtney.” My friend told me. “What? She’s here isn’t she? She was in the bathroom with you guys, wasn’t she?” My words were slurring and I was so confused. “Um, she left like, an hour ago. She went home. She said she wasn’t feeling well. Hurry up, you are being waaayy too obvious. If Mom and Dad find out we’re dead!” My sister said. They slung my arms around their shoulders. This is when things were really confusing. This is the part where there are holes in the story. We started walking on the side walk that was on Highway 10. So there were lots of cars. “Hey guys, I will be right back.” I said to them. I stumbled to the tree in my yard and puked. Again, it was like sorta white or clear. After I puked the second time that day, I laid by the tree dodging the spot where I puked. “What are you doing! Get up! You look drunk!” My friend said. I tried lifting my head up but it was too heavy. “Imma take a nap guuyyss. Just let me sleep for awhile.” I said, still laying, with my eyes closed. “No! What the hell! Get up!” My sister said as she pulled me up. “I’m afraid that if you sleep you won’t wake up.” My step-sister continued. I was too tired to protest. They again slung my arms around their shoulders. About a block later, I bent by another tree and puked again. Except this time, nothing would come out. But, lucky me, I gagged again and only a little bit of the vomit came out. Somehow, we got to Kourtney’s house and we called her to come out. “Uh, Kourtney, how ya doing? I think you need to come out here. Yeah, we still got a full pack.” My friend spoke into the phone. Less than 10 seconds later Kourtney came out and her knees were wobbling. She sat down one the front step and she held her hand out for a cigarette. My friend gave it to Kourtney and she lit up. “You’re knees are wobbling?” My question was meant to be a statement. “Yeah, well your knees don’t look too steady either.” She said. She patted the cement step for me to sit down. I sat down and studied her face but it was too blurry. I had to stare at her for a minute to recognize her. My friend handed me a cigarette and I smoked it. I don’t know how long we were there. But when we left we ordered Kourtney to get some rest and to take it easy. I don’t remember how we got home. When we got home, my mom was setting the table. My step- dad was sitting at the table eating. My little brother was eating too, my mom was loading food onto plates for her and her two daughters. “Hey Emily how much do you want?” My mom asked. “Uh, I’m not realllyy hungry.” I said, again my words were slurred. “Are you sure? It’s a new recipe. It’s really good.” I shook my head and sat on the couch. I don’t know how long I was sitting there, but my mom came and knelt in front of me. “What’s wrong with you?” She asked, worry in her eyes. “Are you drunk?” She asked. I shook my head. “Are you high?” She asked. “Uh, I don’t know.” I giggled. “Jesus Christ…Weed?” I shook my head. “No. Pills. I think they’re called ‘Triple C’s'” I said, almost a whisper. She had two faces and they were crossing over one another. I didn’t realize she left until she was in front of me again, except my almost 17 year old brother was with her. “Emily, tell him what you told me.” I looked at her and confusion hit me. What did she just say? What time is it? Where was everyone? “I think she called them ‘Triple C’s?'” Mom said to Gage. He shook his head. Gage explained everything and said I looked like I was on the fourth something. I don’t remember. Anyways, my dad had to carry me upstairs to him and moms room. From what I was told, and from the small scraps of the memory, I was in my moms crying. Crying about my abuse when I was younger, crying and yelling about my real dad not being here when I needed him most. My mom asked if I was trying to kill myself by taking 24 cold cough pills. “No I juss wanna be happy. She said I’d bee happyy.” I had to explain how the idea was my friends idea. I had to explain how we took the pills from K-Mart. My mo kicked my friend out and told her not to come back. “Mom, can I go to sleep?” I asked. “Of course.” My mom said as she wiped my tears, then wiped hers, “But will I wake up?” I asked, replacing the tears with new ones. “Yes you will. I gave you a pill to slow down your heart.” I just then remembered my mom making me take a pill with plenty of blue Power-Ade. I laid m head down and drifted into a deep sleep. The most memorable thing of it all was the dream the happenned when I fell to sleep. I was sitting in the dark. Nothing but darkness. And you probably won’t believe this but whatever, there was a light in the distance. My grandpa helped meup and told me to go home. Told me to be careful and that I couldn’t stay with him. Still, to this day, I wonder if it was just a dream or actually him. My grandpa that died a year ago from cancer. I only told my best friend and my history teacher who has helped me big time. They both believed it was him. At the time I was a complete Atheist. And right now, I am trying to believe. Because now, I DO think it was him.
So, that’s my near death experience. If my beautiful mom wan’t a nurse and didn’t give the pill to slow down my heart, I’d most likely dead. That’s my story. Don’t do drugs, not to be happy, not to have fun. It’s really not worth it. Don’t drink either. You’re wasting time. Hang out with good friends and have fun doing things that are good for you. Find somone to help you out in life. That’s what I did, and I am so much happier. I am 14 and my name is Emily Marie Gerrich. And I survived life. Anyone can, as long as they choose to.