My story..

So many things have changed in the past year I don’t know what the hell happened. Yes, I have made some friends now that I probably would have had before now. But.. My old friends.. I kinda miss them. I miss being able to talk to them about anything. They were honestly amazing people. Well, until they all turned into back stabbers. But,before they were that though, I could call them in the middle of the night if I needed anything. I don’t have that now. I have “friends.” I even call a few my “best friends,” I don’t have the strength nor the trust now to mean it though. A bit over a year ago, I was pretty sure I fell in love with someone, I thought he felt the same way, too. I fucked that up because I believed someone who I thought was my best friend tear us apart. He tried so hard to keep us together, but I made up lies so he would leave. Now, he hates me..More than anything in this world. I got what I thought I wanted. I lost my best friend, too at the same time. The second I told her I was done with him, she left, too. Come to find out it was her that fucked me over NOT him.& Why do I miss her as a friend? After all of this, all that she put me through. I became so depressed. I started using drugs. Became friends with people I shouldn’t. Now, I’m sitting here thinking I seriously I gave up on life. The only thing that is keeping me living is the things that I keep hidden that I don’t want people to find. But, right now.. I only have a lighter hidden. Nothing else. This lighter is the only thing that is keeping me from doing something bad. & I could get rid of this in a split second. One year ago.. I was the happiest girl. Now look at me, I’m a complete wreck. What I would do for another chance. I need to be happy again. I need someone here for me.