over the last couple of weeks, ive been depressed, i don’t know why and i dont know how i’ve gotten this way, i sit there and cry, i feel like nothing to anyone, i give up and just want to die all the time. Most people say i shouldn’t think that, because i’m 13 years old and i shouldn’t waste my life away, suicide isn’t the way to deal with it, i’ve cut myself, wished&cried that i didn’t want to be here so many times, people just don’t understand how i feel.. about anything? No-one knows why i’m like this, i don’t even know, i […]
July 2012
iam really very disappointed with my state in life, I have no job for sometime, I always wanted to be good, feel very good for others, very helping natured, show empathy even for beggars, cows in road and feed them. Unsure what wrong or curse i have. i dont have father, i cant share my problems with my mother/family… I already visited a well developed country through my job and the period is over and iam back to my country….i dont have a good life neither job nor a satisfied mind. i feel very helpless and i dont know what to do, i literally try […]
                                                                                My Heart
                                                   My heart is beating at extraordinary speed
                                                 The firey stinging sensation tearing me apart
                                                                            im screaming
                                                                                 im crying
                                                                     the pain will not stop
                                                                         i hear the sirens
                                                                   echos of rushing humans
                                                                    they’re here for me
                                                               i hear banging on my door
                                                              i wish i’ve never locked itÂ
                                                  for a split second the comotion stops
                                                                          i hear a thud
                                                 vibrations running throughout my feet
                                                           i see them running to me
                                                                        i feel cold
                                                           i drop the knife as i fall
I want to die because my brother is a bully, and my parents don’t do anything about it!!!!!î–î–î–î–î–î–î–î–î–
                                                                   Nothing
                                               I rip my heart open to see who i am
                                                    a void of darkness engulfs me
                                                             i see nothing
                                                             i feel nothing
                                                             i am nothing
                                             i stare at the mirror with the deepest regret
                               i should of done something about it but now im nothing
                                               i cry and cry until i have a thorght
                                                        i dont belong here
                                                              i dont exist
                                                  at the corner of my eye i see
                              a sharped edged blade glimmering in the moon light
                                 i pick it up and take a last look at myself before
                                                            i slice my wrist
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Reminder — don’t post hateful things here.
Do not post for suicide partners or specific suicide methods either. They will be removed.
I realize the site is only trying to emphasize that they do NOT condone suicide in any way, but does anyone find the concept of posting rules to be ludicrous? I mean, if you’re serious about suicide, I’m sure you’ve come to the conclusion that it is the only freedom we truly do possess. I’m sure that if anyone on this site DOES take their own life, their post is the most important for us to read.  If for […]
Theory:
As children, we have primal impulses, pleasures, thoughts, actions, etc. As we grow into our teen years, society does it’s best to strip us of these characteristics. This “stripping” us of what naturally pleases us by imposing infinite amounts of rules that have no benefit to us, cause us to instinctively resist. Society calls this resistance “teenage angst” or “hormones”. Sooner or later, we all seem to comply. We go about our mundane existence feeling empty and purposeless inside. Why would our society condone and administer such a hostile act?
The answer is simple:Â The ones who control our society are the same ones who profit […]
I could SEE the pain.  It was visible. Â
And I felt a sense of accomplishment.  It hurt as I did it – but then felt kinda good.  Like relief.  I think I finally get it.
Next step is to see if deeper = more relief.  Until (hopefully), deep enough to end all pain.
WTF! so we get a call from the pharmacist and i answered it and i find my dad is still high heavy pain killers and overdosing, i give the phone to my mom and she hangs up crying my parents are getting divorced. i dont know what i feel or what to do, that was shocking and i didnt see it coming.
Hi, Well as you can see I havent offed my self! (Yet) So I am still alive on this rotten, idiotic planet! I would like to share with you my favourite book, I think you should read : Joker, by Ranulfo.
Anywhore, I am wondering if i do off myself how will I do it? The helium method? Hanging in the closet? Rooftop Jump? Knife? Pills? I do know I’m 11, you may think I am nieve but thats your thoughts, bye see you soon… maybe
Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep.   Wake up.  Go to work/school.  Come home.  Go to sleep. Â
Enough.  There is simply no point.  No joy, no happiness.  Just existance.  Breathing.  Wasting space.
Enough already. I am sick of breathing for no purpose.
To all of you out there who have problems with society, religion, government etc. I can tell you that there’s a good chance that your anger and/or frustration is justified. I have answers. You may not want to hear them. I am not a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist etc. I am a philosopher, an author, a teacher and a student. I am not here to preach, judge, defend, or honor. I am here to provide concepts and theories that I have gathered from decades of research and self-identity.
I want to make something very clear. To those of you reading this, I am not condoning violence on […]
Voices..
I hear them, talking, bitching, jeering.. They are trying to make me do some bad shit.. Kill her..she deserves to die.. No she hasn’t done anything… Yet. They make me cut.. Deeper, deeper.. Let it rain you coward.. I cannot complain of being alone.. I’m never alone.. They don’t let me be alone.. Ever. Your ugly, your fat, you emo, you *****, your worthless, not good enough.. You will never be up to your mothers..”Standard”… So you cut, cut the pain away, watch it bleed out of you…
Darkness..
I can feel them.. All of them.. Their thoughts.. Their voices whisper in my ears.. I […]
My fair maiden lies shackled and woe. Her dress torn and soiled, tells of blasphemy and misfortune. Her soul tormented by God and government. Does this course not beckon me to proceed encased in armor of Mendez? Should my thoughts not intertwine with war? If my cries fall on deaf ears, will I cry no more? It is the Harbinger they seek. His lowered brow swells to the rigid horns of reason. His direction echoes of thunder as stride distends. He is shielded by maxim and plague of knowledge. The sharp steel of angst-ridden compassion, urges to plunge deep […]
My grandparents were gonna let me see my dad in California before I go back to VA but he can’t afford to get me back in time for court, so again, not gonna see him. This game that’s been going on between them my whole life. So I have a choice. Go back to VA early with my sister or stay the rest of the summer here and go back when we were planning to-at the end of the summer. If I leave early, I know it will break my mom’s heart again and I’ll have to be with my grandparents longer. But if I […]
I’ve always wanted to die, ever since I was a child, I have no idea why. When I was a child and I believed in god, I prayed not to wake up the next day. And yet, I had a normal childhood. It seems that I have a tendency towards depression. Well, the years have passed and I imagined killing myself in so many ways that I can’t even remember them all. Now I’m all alone but I’m fine with loneliness, in fact, I think I want to be alone. I’m sick and tired of this crazy world and all the people, I want a […]
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=urAus701uHQ#/watch?v=urAus701uHQ
I am the third and youngest child in my family. My eldest brother David has never been nice to me no matter how hard I have tried, and recently he told me I am no longer his sister. My other brother Timothy was born with brain damage and got all of the attention from my parents. I was always ignored and my parents never realised I have had depression for a very long time. Even now that I have been diagnosed, they still don’t believe me. Of course it’s okay for my brother David to be depressed but not me.
My so called friends were never […]
I really need an easy, accessable and immediate way out. I cant go a day more.
Does anyone else feel disgusted with themselves? I feel embarrassed  just being myself sometimes. Today I was with a friend, just talking and walking around the neighborhood and the whole time all I did was fidget and think about how I hate my appearance and hope that nobody is looking at me. It’s so hard to be happy.