I am the third and youngest child in my family. My eldest brother David has never been nice to me no matter how hard I have tried, and recently he told me I am no longer his sister. My other brother Timothy was born with brain damage and got all of the attention from my parents. I was always ignored and my parents never realised I have had depression for a very long time. Even now that I have been diagnosed, they still don’t believe me. Of course it’s okay for my brother David to be depressed but not me.
My so called friends were never nice to me at all and now I don’t have any friends at all except for pen pals whom I write to all around the world. I got so sick of my real friends being nasty that I cannot reach out to anyone outside penpalling. Pen pals are generally non-judgemental, except for this horrible German girl called Anke who sent me a really nasty letter but she was never a real friend at all. Some of my pen pals I feel really close to which is great, but I wish I could find someone closer to connect with.
I have been working at the same place for over 11 years but my boss will soon retire. He isn’t that nice to me either and makes me feel like I am the worst office worker he has ever had. What chance do I have in getting another job? It seems that you aren’t important unless you have a job, although others think you aren’t important unless you have children. I don’t have children but I support two children overseas in third world countries. Does that still make me less of a person because I haven’t had children of my own? My mother has criticised me because I am not married nor do I have children of my own.
Ever since I was a young teenager I have hated myself and have wished I was dead. I don’t know what is wrong with me but no one seems to like me. I think I’m a nice person though. For a very long time I have known that I was an accident; my parents didn’t want to have another child until two years after I was born.
My life has sucked for a very long time. People say that it will get better but it never does. I believe in God but he must really hate me for me to be feeling this way. I’m 36, and life has sucked since I was 4. I just seem to be a waste of space. My heart aches when I hear about needless abortions or people dying who were actually loved, unlike me. I don’t know why I am here on Earth when others weren’t given the chance, or died before their time. I have tried to fit in but I never have.
I wish I was never born, and I’m sorry that I was.
2 comments
It’s good that you think you are a nice person. I believe that your own opinion is more important than that of others, simply because you will live with yourself for the rest of your days, so you should at least like yourself. 🙂
Einstein used to say: “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things”. So, now you know what you need to live a happy life, if happiness is what you wish for. I know that you want to be liked, loved, respected, most people want this, we are somehow programmed to want this. Sometimes you will find diamonds in the garbage or you may find out that it was under your nose the whole time.
My advice to you would be to stop caring about what others think about you, if they like you or not. If you appreciate yourself, that’s all that matters.
I’m not sure if this would help but u should be happy your alive. I wasn’t even suppose to be born my parents had a child and it died premature and the doctors said that my mom would never be able to have anymore children. But then I was born I wasn’t suppose to make it either the doctors thought that I would die premature also but I made it. U should love being here even tho I don’t know u I believe that ur a nice person! =) and u shouldn’t listen to people who don’t appeciate what u do I know I get that a lot where people don’t appreciate me and I want to give up. But I get thru the day and fall asleep and I put it behind me. Cause the next morning is a new day! Don’t give up and don’t hate ur life, there are people out there that care about u wether u know it or not =)