I feel sick all the time. From drinking problem to cocaine to meth back to full-blown alcoholism, then it was pills and painkillers and benzodiazepines and now I’ve finally graduated to heroin addict. As l look down at my hands, swollen and shaky and an odd color of purplish-grey…. I don’t know how I got here. I’m only 22 and I need 12-13 hours of sleep per day and so much therapy and alllll my spare time spent in waiting rooms for drs offices and hospitals…. I’m so so sick and I wonder if life would just be easier if I was gone. I no longer enjoy life.
2 comments
I totally understand your situation. I am 32 a long term drug addict stemming from my need to numb my life. Realize though, that life is constantly changing and you will feel better. Just a year ago I was taking mass quantities of oxycodone, Ambien, benzos, and would’ve tried anything just to make the hurt go away. I even started smoking, nothing helped. Time has helped, and you will feel better. Although I no longer try and hurt myself I’m still struggling with my own depression. I understand about Drs offices and psychiatrists, I have been there too and have the postcard to prove it 🙂 A month of HELL! Email me if you need to talk, I am here for you and although I can’t say I completely relate, I understand what you might be feeling,
Easier for whom? Dying doesn’t make life easier, there is just no more life, not as we know it in any case. Please don’t give up. Better times lie ahead I guarantee. Zx