I Just joined this site a little while ago.. I’m not entirely sure how to start this, or even what to say, but here goes:
I’m 19. In about a month I’ll be starting my sophomore year at FIT, in New York City.
I’m not happy. I miss my ex-boyfriend. But that isn’t why I’m writing this, or crying like a child right now.
My parents. Primarily my mother. Why doesn’t she love me? Why am I seen as this horrible person when I’m not. I’m trying to make a life for myself. But instead, I’m constantly walking on eggshells around her.
My sister and I suppose a few other family members rat me out via facebook. Telling her that I write bad things, etc. Early this morning, I wrote a post saying how I would want to be a good mother to my future children. But she took it as an insult towards her.
I have audio from yesterday of her screaming. I wanted to put it online, but I could never be that vindictive. I just want to explain, bit she doesn’t listen.
I may have a small cavity. My first. She refuses to take me to the doctor. As I’m 19, you can see my dilema. I need to find a part time job while in school. Im taking 21 credits come fall and I won’t have a lot of time to rest.
I just want to be happy. She is still bothering me right now. And I hate it.
I haven’t been suicidal in months. Since early March. But I feel as if… that same feeling is creeping up back again…
2 comments
Hey! You shouldn’t listen to your mom, if she makes you feel sad she doesn’t deserves to be your mother. Some people, too many people shouldn’t have kids! You cannot do anything to change her, so keep going with your life, try to stay away from her, you can always spend more time at school. I know it hurts, but be strong, do your best at school and try to accept that your mom Is a horrible person and you deserve better 🙂
You deserve better. Sadly they can’t see it. She’s so horrible and mean to you. Really you don’t deserve that, you’ll have to forget about her and just don’t try to change her, and be strong