i feel like im 100% alone in this world. i don’t fit in anywhere..i have no close friends, and no one to turn to. the only person i have is my boyfriend, who has repeatedly gone behind my back. i just don’t know if all of this pain is worth it anymore. im only 17 years old. people say that suicide is just an impulsive thought. but its so much more than that. I’ve planned everything, for about two years now. its what i want, its not an impulse at all. everyday i ask myself if anybody would miss me. in all honesty, nobody really would. multiple people would pretend to, but not realistically miss me. everyday i pray for god to kill me a more natural way (car accident that clearly wasn’t my fault, some disease no one knew about, etc.) so that my family wouldn’t have to live with the idea of me committing suicide. i would so much rather end everything now as opposed to living like this for the rest of my life.
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Oh, boy, do I know this feeling.
After suffering from OCD all my life and depression for two years, death was always on my mind. It wasn’t an impulsive thought to me at all, it was tempting and inviting when the rest of the world wasn’t. It sucks to not have friends, but let me tell you: it won’t always be this way. Do NOT commit suicide.
And I used to think that people who told others not to commit suicide just didn’t understand and that they had never felt that urge to just disappear. But things DO get better, and while it may not be tomorrow, one day you could look back at your past self and thank the heavens you didn’t decide to die then.
There is help, and not one solution is for everyone, so make sure to try different methods. Here are some of the things you could do that would help your feeling of loneliness and suicidal thoughts.
-Call a suicide hotline, they are trained to help
-Talk to a therapist, family member, trusted person, etc. Face to face interaction helps as well as getting these thoughts and ideas off your chest.
-Go to a doctor and see if there might be a medicine that can help (this may be the single most effective choice IMO, but it’s not for everyone).
-Go out in nature, get sunshine! It’s been proven to release serotonin in you brain, which makes you happy 😀
-Do something fun! When you’re depressed you may not be able to think of anything you want to do, but try doing a favorite thing. Maybe watch a movie, or go out for ice cream. Something simple like that can boost your spirit.
-Get exercise, eat healthy, make good choices for your body. A healthy body = a healthy attitude
-Think positive thoughts to combat the bad ones
thank yoou. this really did make me feel better. i already feel like an idiot for having to join a website just to talk to people. I’m so angry with myself that ive let it get this far. i really do hope things change and i pray that i won’t be living like this for the rest of my life.
It may seem like a platitude, but things do change. My life is very, very different than it was when I was 17. It was the hardest time of my life, and I think that’s true for a lot of people. You don’t need a guy like that–almost no one stays with the person they were with when they were 17 for their whole life, nor should they. Being with this guy is just getting in the way of meeting someone better. You’ll love many people in many ways over the course of your romantic life–you needn’t worry about not being to find anyone else. You definitely will.
I’m sure that people would miss you when you’re gone. A lot of people on this site say things like that, and it suddenly stuck me that (most of the time) it’s probably because the love and concern of other people gets in the way of the goal (suicide). Not consciously, of course. Since you’ve been feeling this way for so long now, it seems like it’s caused by depression, not any one event or circumstance. Please talk to your family–if you don’t, you’ll be cheating them (and yourself) out of the opportunity to be there for you and to help you. If you’re already receiving treatment, perhaps your doctor isn’t that good, or maybe the medications are wrong. Trying won’t deprive you of the opportunity to kill yourself down the road, so you’re not really going to lose anything. If you give your family the opportunity to try to help you, at least they won’t torture themselves thinking that it’s their fault for missing the signs when you finally do it.
I don’t believe in any afterlife, so I think this is pretty much it. As you age, the years go by faster and faster–our lifetimes really aren’t very long. For that reason, I think it’s important to wait until you’ve had a varied enough experience to properly evaluate what life is. There are so many parts and facets of life and human experience that you don’t really have access to when you’re 17. You’re on the age where you’re on the verge of getting to start the more fun and interesting parts, so I’d say to hang around a while longer and get a taste of that. Good luck!
yea i agree that i don’t need a guy like that, but he is literally all i have at this point. so i guess i just put up with it all in fear of being alone. youre right, the one and ONLY reason that i haven’t tried again is because of my beautiful niece that i spend every day with. i don’t want her to grow up in an environment involving suicide and having to watch her own mom and grandma suffer. i have no one to talk to, hence why i joined this site. my family doesn’t understand, they get angry that i feel like this. all of the kids my age take it as a joke and decide to tell my problem to everyone. im just sick of dealing with it all. its not that i don’t want to live anymore, just simply that i feel like it would be so much better to be gone.
i really hope my future doesn’t involve suicidal thoughts and actions at all. i’m scared that i’ll never get over this whole issue and that it’ll follow me for the rest of my life. thank you!
I feel the same mostly everytime.. But I am still living.. And I will live For the People Around Me.. Although I am dead inside. But I had to Live.. Live for the ones who Love Me..
“Hopeless” Where are you from? Good Luck! But don’t Commit Suicide Bcoz Its a Worst way To Leave this Life.. !
i’m only here for the people i love at this point. im not living for me at all. its good to know that someone feels the same! i’m from illinois, a small city right outside of chicago. yea…who knows what’ll happen with me. whats meant to happen, will.
Wow… You read my mind, this is exactly how I used to feel. I’m glad I didn’t kill myself though. Even though things aren’t 100% right now I still have the strength and hope to carry on. Hang in there please <3 even if it's just one more day.
I know the feeling all to well. Even if i had a few friends they seemed to be busy with their lives and when i thought about it there was really no one for me to turn to. I’m seventeen just like you and i always feel alone. After a while i think i started to just close they few people who gave me hope off. Sometimes i think it is because i don’t want to get hurt again and i don’t want to feel the pain anymore but then i realize it’s because i hate this feeling, the feeling of being forever alone. I’m still experiencing it so i may not be able to tell you how to handle it but i can tell you i hope you don’t give up right away. there are a bunch of people on this website who will tell you that you aren’t alone. even if you don’t believe it right away just talking to them could distract you from the pain because if you wallow in it to long it could consume you. :/
I know How It feels.. I am from India. What will be meant to happen will happen! But I think Hope is the best thing. Have some Hope. May be Life has Something Very Amazing for you? Just Try and Find out. This all things Happens with me though. I am also alone in my life.. No close friends. I also think I should die a natural death rather than Calling it a suicide so that after I go.. Peoples don’t say That I was scared of living..
I am not scared.. I am afraid of living. Each passing day i am killing myself Inside..! Emotionally Spiritually and Physically!
Good Luck!
hey there darlin, i know just how you feel i only have 3 friends i can trust and my mom put me in counsiling and theropey because she found out i cut myself. and i do the same thing< ask my self 'hey will anyone really even miss me? why dont i just do it… just kill myself?' but then i remember that i do have a family that kinda loves me not every one in my family loves me but i do know there is going to be people who will miss you if you do commit suicide. one of the only reasons why i havent commited suicide is because i know my mom wont be able to loose another child, and my little cousons will be lost. so dont do it but i know its so hard not too my mom has walked in on me trying to kill myself over 10times and then i feel even worse because she feels like its all her fault because she is a single mother of 4 . and just remember you not alone your never alone, find that person that likes you for you and will be suportive of what ever you do
yuor not alone <3 there will always be someone out there who is willing to be your friend 🙂
p.s. i hope this helps <3