My story.

I have had 16 years of anxiety ridden life. The social phobia has gotten the best of me, I have no friends and am not in school. I stopped going last year in October.. After I ran away.

I was living in a dilapidated house. The ceilings leaked, the water pipes didn’t work, there was no heat. It had been less than a month that we lived there and we loved there due to transitions of homes. We were waiting for things to go through with the house we would be renting. Anyways, I was dealing with that and then school. I have no friends, the anxiety made it terrifying to step in the vicinity of the school. I would cry myself to sleep. One day I threw up at school due to nerves and ha my mom come get me. She dropped me off at home and ran errands. It was evening, and I had been considering leaving. I layered on clothes. Got a bottle of water and food and left. I walked all night and ended up in some town where I fell asleep on a bench. I was soaking wet due to rain. I woke up to my grandparents. I rode home and found out the police had called int he DCI to find me. I had mild hypothermia.

I got taken out of school and “homeschooled” but didn’t keep up.

I was more secluded. I was more stressed out because I knew I’d have to face school and how far behind I was. One night before I was supposed to go back, I overdosed on klonapin. I took 22 pills. I dot remember an entire week.

My parents found me in my room and took me to the hospital where I was ambulanced to the university and in the emergency room with a tube down my throat to keep my airways from closing all night. Then I was moved up to icu for a night and then pediatrics for 3 days. Then I got put in a child ward for help. For 9 days.

I’m supposed to be a junior this year. I think I’m just going to get my GED and fuck, I’ll admit it. I want to die. I can’t love avoiding people and school. My future isn’t worth living for. I can’t dissapoint people by getting my GED. I don’t know what to do. I go to therapy every week and am on 3 medications. I have no friends. I have no reason to live othertjan keeping my family happy.

I’m sorry.