I won’t lie to you guys, I’m not like a lot of those people who use this site. I don’t have the worst life ever, I don’t want to kill myself since I don’t like living. I want to kill myself because either people would forget me or I would be making their lives a better place by giving them one less loser to worry about. My plan was to purchase a Maverick 88 shotgun and bring it to school with me, (I wouldn’t shoot any of my fellow students GOD NO! I could never do that) Hide it in a gym bag or something and kill myself when no one was looking…maybe in front of them….I don’t know. What should I do? and is the Maverick 88 a good shotgun to use?
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sounds risky dude, what are your motifs
Making their lives a better place, and I dont want my family (certainly not my little sister) to hear the gun go off
dont think that im doubting you but what % would you say that you are gonna do it, that would be quite a mess for the cleaner
Your reasons sound a bit confused Ineedtodie. If you don’t hate life and if your life isn’t bad, you should not even be going there. How you have come to the conclusion that your death will make your loved ones happier, I really don’t know…I think your ‘plan’ is half-baked in the extreme. Zx
I know, but that would look at my faceless carcass and whisper, “About time”
And I’m not exactly the boy with much to live for
if your aim is to disturb every one that see’s you do it …….
is that the real goal here ?
seems a touch irrational to me
rethink. cant you make their lifes better being alive? im pretty sure you can. please try 🙂 hold on for a bit longer.
My goal is to make their lives better so the people who I once thought cared don’t have to hate me, I’ll finally be out of everyone’s way…forever
Most of them have told me to my face that they want me dead, the girl who I thought was my best friend (and past crush) said that SHE WOULD BRING THE GUN!!!!
there is absolutely nothing good or beneficial that comes from involving anyone else in your decisions or actions – if you want to suicide – it is your responsibility to make every effort to keep those around you safe from any potential harm and collateral damage either mental or physical … bullets bounce and ricochet – it’s not like the movies where they just ‘stop” after their intended purpose
i don’t know why you think you’re a “loser” – but if you applied half of your time and energy into doing something positive instead of all this time and energy in coming up with the “perfect suicide”, your life might be a little better.
ignore people who offer you no benefit – they’re just background scenery
target dawg
If the world was based on my system, you would be much better off. That’s because you would get £10 and your friends only £5.
I know bullets bounce, but you don’t seem to understand that even though some people want to kill themselves, I forced living knowing I HAVE TO KILL MYSELF and if the world wants me to drown in blood and lead then they can watch it happen. I have tried being happy but that is another thing I cant do right. What are people supposed to do when they feel hated, when they want to give up, having sleepless nights in tears knowing that their final moments will be with a shotgun barrel down their throat with the people they once thought cared chanting “PULL THE TRIGGER! PULL THE TRIGGER!” when they have no other option, but to take their own life.
i’m gonna go out on a limb and say – “the world’ doesn’t want you to “drowned in blood and lead’
nope – “the world” is totally oblivious to your existence so “the world” has no interest at all
What should you “do” if you feel “hated”? Stop caring what “they” think – period.
you are not being “forced” by anyone but yourself to “live knowing … ” … you are the ONLY one who “thinks” you “have to die” – everything you have said is about what YOU think and what YOU feel – which means YOU change change how you perceive everything.
understanding dawg
First off you know exactly what I mean by “the world” so don’t act like you don’t. Second I am not the only one that wants myself dead, I get told day after day that I belong six feet under by my once thought “friends”.
And it doesn’t matter what people think in the end because they’re just supporting what I need to do.
riiight … because every school kid has a full and real appreciation of what death really is – they are being foolishly over dramatic – and so are you … stop it … calm down and be rational.
and no i do not “know what YOU mean” by “the world” – there is only one world – it contains more than 7 billion people … of that, there is an infinitely small percentage of people that even know of your existence. you are not permitted to make assumptions about what I think – nor are you permitted to extrapolate beyond what I tell you I think – that said – I do not “hate” you and I don’t want you to die, nor do I want you to harm anyone else in any way
Now, why do you start by telling us “why’ you think everyone supposedly “hates” you.
step by step dawg
If you want to make these people’s lives better, you have a weird idea about how to do it. Traumatizing them for life is not going to help, first of all. And second of all, I’m doubtful they actually want you dead. People say careless things all the time. Rather than make them regret saying those things, why not try to find the reason that it hurts you? How can you change the way you relate to people, or perhaps the people you relate to, so that you will feel more comfortable and valued?
What needs to be different to make life worth living again?
What steps can you take to improve things, rather than surrendering to what you feel the world wants from you? What can you do to counter that, rather than validate it? Don’t let society win. Society is shit and stupid. It doesn’t deserve to win.
Have you ever heard the saying what goes around comes around. People have done all sorts of horrible things to me. I just don’t talk about it on here. I’ve been where you are at. If you intend to do this it should be because of anyone else. It should be because your life has fallen well below the standard anyone would reasonably expect and there is not prospect of recovery. At this stage, can you really say that you have met both of those conditions.
* should not be because of anyone else
If only a small number of people are upset with you, it’s possible that they are the ones with the problem, and not you.
However, if lots and lots of people are upset with you, it’s more likely that it’s you who is doing something wrong.
If it’s the latter, can you identify what it is that you are doing that is causing people to feel this way about you? If you’re not sure, then ask them. Once you’ve established what it is, you can set about trying to improve things.
That, in my opinion, is a far better solution than killing yourself.
To answer your question, OB1. The problem is that I’m breathing.
To answer dawg, most of everyone I’ve met want me dead.
And finally to answer Duke, I just don’t want to be alive anymore…I can no longer stand being alive because everytime I think I have something to live for, it’s viciously ripped from my hands and torn to pieces.
Don’t you find talking to people on here helps. I’ve abandoned all my real life friends and replaced them with imaginary ones.
I guess they don’t each reading comprehension in school anymore 🙁
-_- dawg
Ok, I’ll be honest…you’ve guys have helped me more in a few hours then anyone has helped me in 18 years, and these are real people posting these responses not imaginary. I’m thankful for that, but I know everything I try falls apart and fails and (no disrespect but) I have no idea why you people bother trying to help me, I mean think about… if I killed myself tomorrow how would you know?
we would no because oud stop posting and people would worry, and theyd feel sad, i would.
If you see my post, I’ve got a list of people I fell out of contact with. Some go back to last year but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten all about them. They were my friends.
That’s true I guess.
It’s the diversity. How in real life would any of us come into contact. Look at the different backgrounds, ages, nationalities and cultures that we all come from but brought together for a common purpose. Where in the world would you get that, we would never have known each other.
There are some people I’m in email contact with. We are friends and care about each other. Obviously we have limited means and are separated by distance but if they were in trouble I would to my best to help them. That’s why I’m trying to get myself out of debt and applying for better jobs.
May I ask what brought you guys on this sight?
Then again it pretty much revolves around the same thing so I guess that is a dumb question
everyone has a reason – for one reason or other – but all generally the same – you can click on the name of the author of a post to see all their posts/stories/contributions.
there’d no such thing as a “dumb” question – except the question that is not asked.
glad to see you calming down a bit 🙂
dawg
I deleted all my old posts which means my worldly knowledge is lost forever. Shame really, would have made a good book.
Yeah, it helps me feel better when I can talk to people who don’t turn a blind ear or support my decisions blinded by my own furry and depression.
@duke – feel free to write my book for me 🙂
@Ineed – you can talk freely here and most people will listen – but try to remember that “we” aren’t “them”
different dawg
Ok, I’m going to sleep now. Unless there is something really urgent and important that anyone wants to say to and can’t wait until the morning.
night duke
Dawg- I understand you guys are better then other people I know.
Duke- I would totally check out that book
That it?
Ok. Do not cry, hold back your tears for one moment as I am only going to be gone for approximately 8 hours. I understand that this time might be unbearable but I will return as soon as possible so as not to disappoint the thousands of fans that I have on this site.
Peace out.