Funny how trivial everything becomes when you know you’re going to die. All these things that were once so important… job interviews, finances, hell even wars and famine and disease… are growing so distant, like a tv in the next room. Lately my own voice doesn’t even sound like me anymore. It sounds like the voice of some actor reading my lines. The other day I was talking and suddenly stopped because I sounded so weird, like REALLY WEIRD. Â I asked the other person if there was something wrong with my voice, and she said I sounded fine, politely adding, “maybe the acoustics are weird in here.” I said sure, that must be it. But we both knew I’d talked in that room a hundred times before, no problem. We both knew I’m just losing my mind.
Im not on any drugs or medication (although I probably should be). This is my sober reality, and it’s getting further every day. Everything that surrounds me is moving so far away, and at the same time I’m collapsing in on myself. And all the while, the pain gets worse and worse.
Did I just type all these words? Funny I hardly remember it.
2 comments
Hello! What is troubling you? have you tried to speak abt your feelings with a trusted person in full confidence? Do you want to talk to me? I have been there..am there….and perhaps we can help each other out!Xoxo
Hello. That happens to me too; I have days I barely remember and people I don’t recognise, although I should. I know this probably seems pointless now (there’s not much I can do), but how are you?