Life sucks. I’m in high school, I’m fat, have acne, a huge nose, and I’m ugly. On top of that I’m shy and quiet-I don’t really like talking that much and people always take that as me being rude. Even my dad is embarrassed and says that I need to get out of my shell. I hate myself. I don’t talk much, I’m not creative, and I don’t socialize well with people. I stutter when I talk, I can’t think straight around guys, and I can’t even talk to guys normally (I’m a girl). I’m smart, and have accomplished a lot of things but I feel as if no one really acknowledges my talents besides my family. Everyone else always brags to me how well they re doing, and they don’t even care to listen to my accomplishments much less congratulate me.
My grandmother who lives with us is a *****. She takes out money and gives it to my aunts, and she brainwashes my dad so he prefers to spend time with her and listen to only what she has to say. My mom try’s to make everything balanced between everyone, she tries really hard but sometimes makes me so mad, but then I feel like a horrible person for getting mad at her because she has it rough too.
My grandfather died 2 years ago. I still haven’t been able to get over that.
My stupid “best friend” only cares about her stupid self, and she’s always complaining about how “busy” she is when I do way more stuff than her. She also brags a lot when she hasn’t even accomplished that much and never shuts up about her other friends and her sad love life. She really gets on my nerves. She’s such a complainer and she never does anything but watch tv.
Idk y but I just don’t have any motivation to live anymore. It’s these small things that get to me and make me feel miserable-I just keep thinking over and over about them and all the anger bottles up. I think about suicide everyday; it’s been like this for the past few months. I’ll randomly start crying at night when I think how much I hate my life and won’t be able to stop. And no one know’s that I’m hurting; I hate putting on the fake smile and pretending everything is ok when it’s not. I’m just sick of everything.
I’m sorry for ranting about the stupidest things ever probably, I know there are people with much bigger problems than mine but I need to get this out somewhere.
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1 comment
Don’t feel bad everyone is different; these problems obviously weigh heavily with you and so there’s no reason to feel like you’re just needlesly complaining. You said you’re ugly, i doubt that’s true regardless of what you look like what makes people truly beautiful is the person they are on the inside. Be comfortable with yourself and don’t worry about what others may think of you. Please don’t kill yourself, at least wait it out until after highschool. Don’t let the small things eat away at you.
Imagine the small problems are flys in your room bothering you, if you just brush them off whenever they land on you eventually they’ll find there way out, but if you get angry and start swatting vigoursly at them you mite just end up smacking yourself in the face.
Wait it out, people may think of chysalises as being dull and boring, but what emerges from them is beautiful and vibrant. You’ll find your colors don’t worry.