My friend saw this website open on my laptop. He turns to me Lysie you know I love you right. I smile and nod. I do love you. I know. he continues on with I’ll hafta kill you if you kill yourself. I tell him I know don’t worry I’m fine. I wont try to kill myself. I hate lying to his face because on the inside I’m screaming from pain. I love him too and I don’t want to disappoint him.
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(optional (of course)). Write your story so people can help
My story?
yes only if you’re ok with it – we wont dismiss you at all- just discuss
Funny guy. “I’ll kill you again so don’t try it”
Well at the age of 12 I was raped by a guy in my theatre group. Thats when my life sorta went to shit. I became severely depressed and started cutting. I’m 18 now and I’m still cutting. Although I’ve moved on from the rape. It still haunts my dream more so around the time it happened. Every time I dream about it I awake in a panic. I have really bad anxiety were I have these really bad panic attack they last anywhere from 10 minutes to 30 minutes it really sucks. So cutting is the only way i feel in control. Except for when I’m with this guy. I get to pretend everything is okay even just for a little while.
can i ask- what does cutting do? is the blood like the stress flowing away?
Its the pain. I can control this pain. So I feel like I’m in control of something. And seeing the blood come out it is kinda like the stress flowing away.
i wish i could cry, sounds like it would help, but those are human emotions
Are you not human?
Lys, sorry you’ve had to deal with such difficulty at an early age. Some people can’t begin to understand.
numb- does cutting help
One, your fascination with her self-destruction is disconcerting.
Thanks for your sympathy. I just wish people knew things like this do happen….
Cutting does help for me.
fascination? – discussion, i haven’t done it so i ask for her perspective
I don’t mind answering the question. Its nice to have someone take an interest in me.
wait do you think i get pleasure from it? i aint that fucked up, i haven’t found a way to lose my stress so i wanna know what it was like for her.
i used to cut. scratch and still blame myself for every little and big situated, complexed thing. what is your email? I’ll send you my story. my email is located under my name.
Oh no, an intense interest more so. Well, no harm done it seems.
Its fine really.
lysieluve@gmail.com
@8532110, what do you do then?
I put myself in dangerous situations.. What of you?
lol i mean to relieve the stress, obviously they dont run adverts for this site, we all searched something and stumbled upon this.