I am so depressed right now that it almost hurts to breathe. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. I want somebody to hold me so I can cry o. Their shoulder like a baby. But I can’t cry. I have a dam built up inside me to keep my emotions from showing. It has held up well so far, but dams break, and I’m scared of what will happen when my dam breaks.
Nobody understands me. Nobody knows how I really feel. No one knows how depressed I am or that I am constantly having to deal with such a shitload of anxiety. I lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling wishing that there were some way that I could guarantee that i wouldn’t wake up tomorrow morning. I am too chicken to kill myself, but if someone were willing to do it for me, I would jump at the opportunity.
I am a burden to everyone I know. I piss them off and lie to them. If they really knew what a ***** I am, they would t want to be within a ninety five mile radius of me. Who would want to love me? Who would want to be my friend?
I never show emotions. I always seem happy and fun, but on the inside, I am slowly dying. I really do t know how much longer I can handle this. I just want it all to be over. Who the he’ll would want to be associated with me.
I just want it to be over.