So why the hell do I bother saying anything?
No one gives a shit about what I have to say. I continually have to learn that lesson. Each time it hurts the same as the previous times. But I keep trying anyway. Apparently, my life path is the ‘Way of Articulation’. But why bother articulating myself to people who could care less or hate what I have to say? There’s just no point.
So I’m done with it. Fuck it.
17 comments
I think it’s time for you to put the crack pipe down.
People do care. Besides random strangers in cyber space, I’d bet people in your real life do too.
Hi. I for one like reading your posts. What’s up GG?
If everything you say will destroy you.. Can anything we say heal you?
The English language is pretty inefficient when it comes to accurately expressing ourselves. Miscommunication is a fact of life that I hope you don’t take so much to heart.
I love reading your posts/comments. You’re smart, and you always give good advice. Even if nobody else appreciates what you’ve got to say (which I don’t believe is the case – see above), I do. appreciate it.
Good Girl, don’t let the occasional indifference or antagonism to your words discourage you from using your undoubted skills of communication and articulation. I sense you have recently had a bad experience…well, maybe you were too close to the truth and that got a poor response as it often does? If that’s the case please don’t generalise a specific instance to thinking that no one gives a fuck!
I and many other regulars here can testify to the caring and concern that you have expressed in your comments here. You come across as a gentle and genuinely caring person with a healing touch to your words. That is a priceless gift which I hope and trust you will continue to nurture and develop.
Love, Zoe x
Thanks Zoe, orangish, one_day & lucy4 for commenting. I appreciate it.
When I try to help people, I put my heart and soul into it. It takes so much energy, that’s very limited most times, and thought. I’m sensitive and I get easily offended. Whether it’s here or in real life, when my help gets rejected or ignored or met with antagonism, I do take it personally. Because to me it is personal. I feel like I’m taking a part of me and handing it to someone else in the hopes that it will help them in some way. Even if my words mean nothing, at least they’d understand that someone cares enough to try. But for some people, caring isn’t even enough. Now I’m drained. When I add up all of those instances, I start to wonder why I even bother. I want to help, but in the end it’s not really good enough, and I’m left drained and dispirited.
Thanks for caring. Yeah, people in my life do care, but it doesn’t outweigh the ones that don’t or the ones that walk away. All of that still hurts. It never ends.
I sometimes get distanced from people here for that very reason. Sometimes it’s good to take a break if things are getting too hectic, or you’re feeling like it’s pointless. Your comments really do help some people, though. And the fact that you care enough to write the replies that you write means a lot.
You are also right; it never ends. You can’t help everyone. Not everyone wants help, but those who do will appreciate it.
GG, I can entirely relate. I too put my heart and soul into my responses. I too am horribly sensitive, and feel hurt when my efforts are ignored/rejected, or even antagonise people.
I only post comments here when I have a particular kind of energy within me. Recently I posted hundreds of comments in the space of about two weeks. This was followed by a fallow period when I mostly went on Chat. I was burnt out.
I guess I now post comments knowing that I may never hear back from the person concerned. Yet someone, somewhere will read and maybe get something from what I’ve said. Perhaps it’s best to detach ourselves from the expectation or hope of a response. In other words, it’s not the fruit of our labours that matters so much, as the work itself?
Hope I’m making sense here…
Hugs GG. Zoe x
@GG – i get that a lot too … the proverbial ‘bite the hand that feeds you’ behavior … it ain’t easy being a caring compassionate mind reading miracle worker :/
mortal dawg
Yeah, see… people are horrible. they’re pretty bad. A lot of the time you just want to punch the ever loving shit out of them. But you kind of have to get past that or else you’ll just tear yourself apart. Honestly, having the ‘fuck it’ attitude towards some people is great. That way if they do something really fucking stupid or actually try to hurt you or whatever, you’ll just say ‘fuck it’, not be affected by it, and they’ll feel retarded.
@Dawg; yeah, it ain’t easy being a caring compassionate mind reading miracle worker. In other news, that actually gave me a chuckle.
@kyuketsuki; If only I could actually adopt the ‘fuck it’ attitude; would save myself a lot of trouble. I can do it for a little while, but it doesn’t last or it’s a front. I guess putting up a front wouldn’t be so bad in some cases, but inside I’m still, like, ‘fuck… that hurt’.
@Zoe; Good to know you can relate, I guess. I mean, it sucks to be this sensitive, but at least I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. Months ago I would put in effort when I felt I had the energy to help. And after a while I lost that energy, and I stopped helping for a pretty long time. A really long time, actually. Recently I got that energy back and I’ve been trying to offer kindness and advice where I think I can. Now I’m back to being burnt out. Perhaps I should visit the Chat at some point. I’ve only been there once, I think.
Yes, what you’re saying makes sense. I understand it. Thanks for the virtual hugs, and your kind words. I appreciate them.
@orangish; You’re right – we can’t help everyone, and not everyone wants help. I guess part of it is deciding who actually wants help. Thanks for telling me that my comments are helpful to some, including you.
I think I do need a break for a while.
Of course it’s personal. How can it not be when you invest so mug time and emotion into hearing people’s stories. Me personally, I limit the people I follow, just because I think it’s better to focus and give proper attention to a few rather than simply pay shallow lip service to everyone. So if you can form a relationship misunderstandings are less likely. If you need a break that is your right. You will be missed! Don’t change though… Be cautious but don’t change
Yeah, that’s true. I don’t know if others make it personal. You can see that some do, but not the whole lot. It probably would be better to comment to certain people that I become familiar with; was thinking that same thing myself. Ah, no worries, you’ll probably see me pop up every once in a while. I can never stay away for too long. I won’t change, one_day, it’s probably impossible for me to change too much.
I’m a failed English Major. I’m not sure whether or not you can begin a sentence with “and”. No sarcasm meant, just thinking out loud.
Your path is that of articulation. We need to figure this out.
You’re a failed English Major? I learned something new about Lucille. Hm. In school I was taught not to start sentences with ‘and’ and ‘because’, but being the rebel that I am, I do it anyway.
Good that you won’t change too much yr loved the way you are. Was this post sp related btw? You know everyone on here is a whack job including me so don’t take it to heart… Though I know it’s hard not to.
Gotta get your yippee ya ya’s somewhere. If that means starting sentences with ‘and’, have at it. Put some apostrophes before the s when they should come after… Why not go nuts
Aw, thanks one_day. That warms my heart. <3 Yes, this post was SP related as well as real life related, but SP triggered it. haha, whack job. You know I is a very sensitive girl, me takes things' to heart.
Yeaaaah, got in my yippee ya ya's. ;]
…and…
Sp is tough like that. It’s harder to remember to filter yoursel online, when. You can’t see the person in front of you, and you can’t read their facial expressions. You know how much trouble I get myself into so campariively I think you’re doing fine. Except for the fact that the apostrophe police are commibg to get you now… I heard that after they cuff you, they make you lie in the floor an conjugate your verbs until they’re sure yr sober.