I’ve been in the hospital twice in less than a month and tried to commit suicide 3 times… and the last 2 days I’ve been back in bed with hardly any contact from anyone and I’m not going to contact people and be a burden to them but honestly I’m going crazy… and afraid it won’t be too much longer… I just want to die, but I guess its my fault b.c. I’m posting positive sayings on facebook like I’m excited to see what God has for my future. My mom has asked for my schedule but I don’t want to deal with her because she is majorly pushy… I’m just honestly going crazy… just had a so called friend tell me I’m doing crap for attention… well go fuck off is what I have to say… I’ve also started cutting and purging in the last 48 hours… which is helping sum with the pain.
think I’m gonna make my noose and hang it in my storage tomorrow (which I only have a key to) so its ready for me whenever I’m ready.
4 comments
Nice, you won’t be found until you stink up the place to the high heavens, probably ruining peoples’ stuff.
Its my storage at my house with just junk in there… no biggy. I think id be found sooner than you think… maybe a day or two but not no wk or anything.
You sound like you want help, and you definitely want people to know what you’re going through and to acknowledge it.I don’t know your situation, and I assure you I’ve had moments of extreme mental illness and bizarre activities. In fact, that’s far more common than normality for me. It sucks, but I do what I can to make it better.Are you irritable and energetic? Are you down and have low energy? Are you swinging from good moods to bad moods? It sounds like you’re not being cared for by competent professionals, unfortunately. I know meds get a horrible rap, but I can’t stress how much of a difference they’ve made for me. Granted, I had to go through a bunch of them before I found the ones that worked for me. I don’t even have any side-effects (some of them were pretty bad).Does it feel like your body/brain are out to get you, and that it’s biology that is making life unbearable? Would you rather feel good or would you rather be dead and have everyone who knows you feel terrible?
please don’t do it.
Life greatest pleasures are only in the second half of our lives.
Just keep breathing.