Cant fall asleep even tho lifeishorrible kept me up till 4 last night!
September 2012
The only reason I am living is for others. My family, friends, and people I dont even know. I would have committed suicide by now, but ive told my friend not to tell anyone so if i end up doing it the burden will be on his shoulders. I dont know what to do. I havent told my parents or anything because i cant face them. I am a coward they would feel terrible, they would feel failure as parents if i told them. My life seems to have no meaning. Seems that nothing can make me happy. When something does make me happy it […]
Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away.
I am crying. I am screaming out, asking for help. Is anybody helping me?
No. Is anybody even TRYING to help me?
It sure doesn’t seem like it. Can anybody even hear me?
I don’t know. Maybe they’ll hear, when I’m screaming harder, louder, when my throat is raw, and it’s nearly too late. I don’t know.
I don’t even know if I’m being heard by my friends. Definitely not by my mum.
I don’t think anybody even knows I am shedding tears, even when they are visible, literally streaming down my face, and making my neck sticky.
Elle once told me I look […]
hold me
Hey Ya’ll, my name is Leah and I want to share with you my suicide story. I just want to go ahead and start off with the fact that I love you, and I am praying for you every single day.
So, where to begin…
Ever since I can remember I have been suicidal. I have had these thoughts for as long as I can remember. I knew it was not the right way to think, that children were supposed to be happy, and the fact that I was not made me feel as if I was doing something wrong. I had trouble coping with […]
I keep telling myself if it wasnt for my kids id already be gone … but over the last few weeks ive pretty much been told im not a good person im crazy im poison, i ruin every thing … so if all that is true whats the point … i know my kids need me but they still have their other parent … so seriously if all i ever do is ruin other peoples lives neway and i poison everything then whats the point of sticking around to continue to poison everything… why not just take the plunge and be down with it?
i feel like an alien today more than ever. even simple inanimate objects seem foreign. I like burning myself, it hurts for a moment but for a moment its all i can think about and i like that. I cant stop my thoughts from racing. All i want to do is smoke and chill with this girl. Shes a freak just like me:) We made out yesterday for the first time. Im lonely. I cant wait to see her again. Im 23 and have almost completely gotten over my insecurities with girls. But ive still yet to be in love. My life is shit, […]
no one honestly cares. i go to school everyday upset, wanting to cry and just sit all alone. i get pushed aways every fricken day , i get so pissed off, i get so angry i breakdown , i cry , i cant deal with it any more,im so sick of being treated like crap. my social worker makes me feel horrible about myself. and no one wants to help , all i want to do it talk , or cry, or scream or write, not be pushed away ..someone talk to me.
So… I am a 13 year old girl. I have already tried to kill myself and failed. People say that suicide is the cowards way out. But its not. I still want to so why don’t I? There is something holding me back. I can’t describe it. Its not hope its not a dream. It is just something telling me not to. My view on suicide is that you most likely shouldn’t have you considered every other option? Probably not. Think on it. That’s all I want you to do. I tried and am still scarred by it. So unless you want to carry that […]
Comedian Doug Stanhope’s skit on suicide with the best analogy I’ve ever heard before in my entire life (Theatre):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3ZA-_kWGGc
Doug Stanhope seriously describing why he wants to kill himself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6X2dCkOI6LY
Lord, I’m 44 and everything he said in this clip applies to me. That’s pretty sad.
Star Trek Voyager — Best Episode ever:Â Death Wish
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0708875/
A very deep, very meaningful look at suffering. So many ignorant people in the world believe that if you aren’t feeling physical pain, then you aren’t suffering. A co-worker lost his 14 year old daughter in a car accident on the highway when some stupid idiot decided to text a friend after […]
I hate how people can know a kid has a learning disability, troubles at home, depression, no friends, is shy, autistic, etc. and still make fun of them. It’s called grow the fuck up and learn to be nice, it won’t kill you to sit with the kid that’s alone at lunch, tutor the kid that needs help. Be a friend, maybe save someone from committing suicide. If you knew how those people feel without you putting more stress on them too, you wouldn’t think of ever making fun of them again. Even if the kids completely normal doesn’t give you a reason to make […]
i first started having suicidal thoughts when i was 16 years old but i desided i was going to hang in there and try to be the best i could but it was never good enough for anybody not even my mother who is the one person that is suppose to love me unconditionally. now four years later, nothings changed im still the same scared girl staring at the bottle of oxy saying that todays the day….. i wish i had it in me to just cut myself or take those pills. if only i had someone i could count […]
I’ve been really depressed lately, and it seems like it came out of nowhere. I’m only a teen and I’ve told my mom and she suggested going to therapy and getting on medication. But for some reason I just don’t have it in me to talk to somebody about my problems. I feel like talking will only make things worse. I feel stupid for feeling like this but these feelings of loneliness and worthlessness just won’t go away. Me and my best friend keep getting into stupid fights that last for the longest time. I always feel like people are judging me about every little […]
They think I’m perfect, good grades, popular, pretty, thats what I hear about t
me. But is it true? I don’t think so…. I’m not good enough I never am. My grades aren’t good enough, yes in have straight A’s but I need more. I’m not pretty, I’m to fat, yes I am a size one but It’s not good enough. I lie each day, act like I’m okay. Because I need to be okay and if I say it enough times, I start to believe my own words, but secretly I know its all a lie. I hear the voices, I see people who […]
some people just make it more and more clear i dont belong here…even on SP..maybe i should walk away..and die. soon i will give the people their wish im sick of bitches and douches. just shut up if u cant be nice.
Yeah but nothing has chanted since I was last on.. I haven’t cut in about 10 days now.. I developed an eating disorder since I was last on, tried to commit twice.. stopped drinking.. am yeah.. like you even give a shit right?
I found out two days ago that my ex committed suicide last week, It feels weird but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it,
We haven’t been together or spoken for nearly 8 years but I keep thinking What if he had reached out to me and what if I could have helped him or even tried to understand what he’d being going though.
I wish I could have done something to help him.
im 15 and im completely lost in this crazy world i don’t know what to do anymore.
the title says it all… Im done , with everything …  Oh they will suffer alright – when they are freaking looking at my gravestone, They will be responsible for everything i have done to myself. You  might as well trial them for murder , because they will be the reason why im dead.
I smile,
just so people don’t ask whats wrong.
Because if they did….I’d have to explain how my dad screwed up my life,how my best friend hurt me more than anybody could and i still miss her, Â how im deeply depressed, and how just about every other day I want it all to end.
Now i’d probably never kill myself because if I did it would hurt the ones I love and the ones who love me, but I think about it….
a lot.
Somedays it seems like nothing i do is good enough.
and everything I say means nothing to anybody.
i breathe and it hurts.
i swallow and theres a lump […]