i cant take the pain

The only reason I am living is for others. My family, friends, and people I dont even know. I would have committed suicide by now, but ive told my friend not to tell anyone so if i end up doing it the burden will be on his shoulders. I dont know what to do. I havent told my parents or anything because i cant face them. I am a coward they would feel terrible, they would feel failure as parents if i told them. My life seems to have no meaning. Seems that nothing can make me happy. When something does make me happy it ends up not going my way. I try to make other people happy, but now it doesnt matter. Everyday in class i sleep or cease to talk. I dont know what i want, what i like and dislike i have just lost my sense of direction. Everytime i hold  a pen, a knife or any sharp object i think of finishing myself off. Everytime i take a sleeping pill i think of taking 20. Everytime i get in a car i think of intentionally driving into something. I cant help it ive tried to get my mind off it. I think about suicide more than a 16year old thinks about sex. I need some guidance from someone anyone. Put some meaning into my life, any advice or anything can help me get through this. I dont want to kill myself but its the only way i can escape this pain! Girls too I become such good friends with them but they don’t want to date me this is always the case and I can’t take it anymore!!