Hi. I’ve never really done this before. I’m a thirteen year old girl. I used to have these huge dreams of changing the world, being someone. I still do, but it’s harder to continue. I have nothing wrong with my life. I have a good home life, things at school are okay I guess, no one has it perfect. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop thinking about cutting and committing suicide. I feel like it would be so much easier. Sleeping with out dreams eternally. I don’t know why I want life to end so badly. Lately I’ve been in my room a lot. I hang out with friends sometimes, but besides that I like to be alone. I’ve taken to blocking out the world. For some reason I just can’t be happy. I’ve been reading about depression a lot too. I think I might be, but I don’t for the life of me know why I’m feeling this way. I just want to feel better. My parents don’t take me seriously when I talk to them about it. I have the lowest self esteem, and can’t stand looking in the mirror. I hate myself, and I hate how I’m feeling. I’ve never cut or tried committing suicide. I just imagine myself not having to deal with life anymore. If I would have a funeral. I’ve written my suicide letter in my head a thousand times. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore.
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Hang in there. And if you’d like to talk, we’re all here to listen and comment.
thanks 🙂 i like this blog. ive never really been able to relate to people this way it makes me feel better i guess
Don’t ever compare your life to anyone else’s. When people compare themselves to others that just creates more issues that you don’t need(envy and jealousy). First off, I am not a girl so i can’t relate to you completely. Although i can relate to the image problem because I too hated myself/body when i was your age and i still do. The only difference is i know that having an image/self-confidence problem can be “solved”. My solution to my overweight issues are working out and eating right. I am now 18 and in college. I am still a virgin(which surprisingly I am proud of now). There are SO MANY THINGS that i took in middle and high school so seriously that i DONT NOW.
main example:
Status- Middle and high school has a lot to do with how popular you are and how you should act a ‘cool’ individual boy/girl to fit in. the truth —-> An average College population is humungous enough for people never to notice you. There is no ‘reputation’ later on in life.
Confidence is derived from experience so please don’t commit suicide. Confidence(overall) only gets better!
Moral: Things that you find sensitive now, won’t be as painful later on! Not to say that some things that you find painful won’t be later on as well
I tried to commit suicide two and a half weeks ago. Worst decision of my life and btw don’t ever use pills to do it(bad idea). A week after i started to diet correctly and get an hour of exercise in daily and it turns out i am studying better and feeling more healthy. So in only two weeks I’ve learned a lot about how i can improve my life. This is only a few problems in my life but it helped me a lot.
2nd Moral: You are 13. You have so much ahead of you that you don’t see. If i can learn and improve that much in two weeks with one experience think about what you can learn with four weeks or a year!!
The last thing I’d would tell you if you are feeling this way is please learn to accept love. It is something i have trouble with. Once you find that special someone you will feel a lot better. But until then your parents and your friends is all you have. It is all i have. Hope this helps
Thank you. It does help. I’m really hoping it gets better It helps thinking that when I’m older it won’t be as much like it is now. Sometime’s i feel like I’m surrounded by barbies. People want to be perfect and want to fit in and I’ve never really been that
Depression can be totally unrelated with circumstances. It could come from a chemical imbalance in the brian. Medication can help. Tell your parents you want to see a psychiatrist.
I’m going to that tonight. 😛 I just want to stop feeling this way
Sounds like ‘teen angst’ with depression. I think you should tell your parents how you are feeling so they can help you with things, there’s medications that can help you be in a better mood.
If its easier to write things down then do that with your parents.
I use to always write suicide notes at that aqe.When you qet Into your older teen years you realize that you don’t care about explaininq why you killed yourself,you just do It.
Keep your chin up,you can still chanqe the world,It just takes one step at a time.
darling never give up. im promising you. i went through that phase to. sitting in your room? crying? listening to music? i wrote about 3 suicide notes. but you got me through it. YOU DID. and that’s gotta count for something,. you mean everything to me. and so many other people. never lost hope babe. i couldn’t live without you. you leave, i leave. together forever. always