So there I was, a couple days back – sitting alone thinking oncemore about how shitty my life is (I’m in my 20’s, have a university degree, but no one will give me a job, im lacking in major social skills and have never had a GF – still a virgin and havent had any friends for years). 90% of my time outside of my house has been to the Doctor or my Therapist.
To digress, I’m sitting here and decide to “take some pills” (i wont detail everything). I take a few (slightly more than Ive done before just when Ive felt bad), then I drank some alcohol (which I hadnt done before) and then I sorta forget why I did it, but the next thing I know all the pills are inside my stomach and I’ve drank more…
And I’m sitting here at 2am thinking “oh well, this is it – what youve finally wanted! You’ll just pass out and that’ll be the end!”….nope, all that happened was I vomitted twice and have been nauseous ever since- never lost conciousness, instead stayed awake for almost 24 hours straight. After realising that I wasn’t going to die, I checked in at a local Hospital and told them I “accidently” did this after drinking too much alcohol and I dont remember why I did it ( the last part is kind of true).
So I’m back home after the discharge (apparenly there was nothing wrong to keep me there)Â and still feeling like shit inside (physically and mentally) – stomach hurts and I still have nausea.
My life’s a failure and I even failed at ending it. Any advice on how to proceed forward? I just feel stuck and can’t take my mind off what happened.
5 comments
There’s a fair few of us in our 20’s who have had some education and no luck on the dating front and in life. What can I say but sadly welcome to the club, I’m not a virgin but I lost the v a little later life span and know at least partially what that’s like.
This isn’t a help site its for posting your story- all I can offer is a hug and I know at least partially what it feels like as I’ve fitted many of the categories.
Pills will NEVER kill you unless they are Burbiturates, like ******** or Senocal. No over the counter or prescribed will do the trick no matter how many you take. Don’t try this again cause what you can end up with a bad liver or kidney problem that will make your life a worse hell. I am going to bed now but i hope you feel better soon. Eat and drink the things that you are craving. Spoil yourself.
About the mental part… Life’s a *****! Lol. But, well, we’re all here keeping you company that is an escape :). Hope you sleep well.
What Black said. pills are actually notoriously ineffective. What do you like doing? you could join some kind of club and meet new people or something… but that might be a little hard since you don’t have a job or anything so I’m guessing you’re tied up financially as well?
I agree, the people here will keep you company. Let me send you a blessing as well.Since you asked what you can do, here’s my answer:build your energy up. Have some rest, sleep if needed, eat and drink something.Then go out for a walk just for the sake of cycling energy through your body.This is not feel-good advice, it’s simple 5th grade physics: you need energy to perform actions.Increasing your energy is always the first step.@User425, why do you say that this isn’t a help site?
Maybe your definition of success/happiness has nothing to do with society, and you’re meant to carve out a unique relationship with yourself…a kind one.
You keep looking at what’s wrong with your life instead of what’s right…even if nothing is going right yet. It’s all perspective & attitude…when you give those a slight adjustment you will feel a bit better about yourself. I was negative for a very long time and thought I knew the answers but I was still unhappy til my unconscious got in touch with me and made me aware of how my negative behaviour was sabotaging my happiness. When you focus on feeling good within, things on the outside will look better…it’s a process and may take a bit of time, but once you decide, things will change bit by bit. Just be your own best friend and supporter in the process. Good luck.