What happened to the times where I dreamed of becoming a world-famous dress designer? What happened to the brilliantly-written novels I was going to publish? What about that great college I was going to attend? The understanding husband I wanted to grow old with? The two little boys and little girl that would love me and admire their massively flawed mother? When did I suddenly lose interest in the wonderful experiences of life? Or better yet, why am I not fighting for these things? Are they not enough? Why isn’t the ideal life good enough for me anymore? Or is it that I am not good enough for it? Why is it that the little happiness I can muster slips away so quickly?
What is so terrible about taking one’s miserable excuse for a life? What is life exactly? Is it merely the palpation of the heart working to keep your body’s organs steady? Is life just survival? If so, what is so appealing, so necessary, about survival? What is the point when, eventually, surviving is no longer an option?
And what of a soul? Some say it’s what separates us from animals, but who’s to know what animals are feeling? Is that what a soul is? A collection of feelings, opinions, and experiences? Is it what makes each and every one us unique? But what of the sinners, the madmen, the killers, and the mentally sick? Do they have souls? Can one really compare an animal to those disgusting beasts? Or are they something else entirely? If they’re not human, what are they? And what does it mean to be a human anyway?
4 comments
I don’t understand, you don’t think that the mentally sick, killers, and madmen are humans? A human is a primate, an animal just like any other in the psysiological sense. What seperates us is our advanced cognition. Our ability to reason and create distinct personalities for ourselves.
Depression drains the color out of life. It makes everything seem bleek and undesierable. If you are depressed this could be the cause. You should work to repaint the life that was once so beauitful to you. We have all the time in the world to not exist, so why not appreciate all the beautiful things we can while we’re here?
nobody is ever going to be happy……
Most peope are happy SomedaySyd.
If you have the life you mentioned and accomplished all your dreams like it seems you did according to your post, yours it’s purely a chemical imbalance. Go see a psychiatrist and have him give you the right pills. You’ve got amazing circumstances and once your illness it’s taken care of, you’ll be able to enjoy your beautiful life again. You’ve got a lot to live for.
For some of us it’s not only the chemical imbalance but the difficult circumstances we have to live with. Consider yourself lucky. I promise you’ll get better and will soon smile again.