Last night I did something I’d promise myself I’d never do again.
That if it ever came to that moment in my life I’d find another alternative.
But for some reason I just couldn’t resist.
I started cutting my arm again.
I was upset and in so much pain
I really couldn’t take it anymore
I wanted to feel better and relieved
And this was what I needed
This was what i missed
From the rush of the cold blood flowing down my arm
To the pain and sadness slowly disappearing
I know I broke a promise to myself and I know I’m going to regret this
But I needed comforting
And my sharp, cold, silver friend was the only one there for me
I just wish I still didn’t have to result to cutting just to get rid of my
Pain, Sadness, and Lonesome
19 comments
Nobodyy, the first step is to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for cutting. There are many ways to deal with pain, sadness and loneliness and if self-harm causes you guilt than it is not an appropriate method of coping you should use. If you feel so badly the need to hurt yourself perhaps you could use less drastic measures than cutting yourself. I myself struggle with self-harm and I know how addicting it is and how hard it is to relieve yourself of. We’re all here to help you Nobodyy, I really care about you 🙂
I relapse last night to. I am not even lying. It was the first time in a year. Does it mean that I get to give up? Nope. I have to keep on fighting. Pushing forward. Wanna no why? No one is a better protector from the shiny metal fiends then you. You can say “No” because you have the power. Without you they are just objects and, they have NO control. You’ve got to fight it. I’ll help you. I’ve done it once and I can do it again. There is always a way, I like writing, you may like something else but we’ll figure something out. I’m here for you! 🙂
K, things never get better for me… :'(
DDD, I like writing, and music…but lately it’s not working.
That’s because you haven’t lived long enough to see the long-term effects of your actions. If you change yourself today tomorrow could be the best day of your life. All figuratively of course. I’m just saying, this world is truly unpredictable, don’t resign yourself while there is still the chance of things changing for the better. You do have the strength to change, but only if you truly want to change. If there’s a will, there’s a way. Keep strong my dear 🙂
Somebodyy, (somehow I knew you liked music) have you tried talking to someone? I don’t mean to be intrusive but do you have a therapist? When I don’t talk my feelings out I tend to get “Edgy”.
I do, yah. But I’m not interested in telling him my feelings. He thinks I’m some happy girl, I’m the EXACT OPPISITE. I have trouble opening up to people.
Thanks, K.
You didn’t have a problem opening up to us. I’m a “people”…. I also hate male therapists. My last one challenged me to cut more because He’s “seen worse.”. If you are not interested in talking about feelings what do you talk about? If you don’t mind my asking…
So,e of the people here are like me. I just wanna fit in. :/
….forever alone.
Here many of us have common grounds to walk on (Depression, suicidal thoughts) Thus you fit in very well here. You said you like music and writing, perhaps you could join a group where people have similar interests. That way it will be easier to connect with them and you will get a support system more easily.
But you are NOT ALONE. No one is alone. Fitting in is way overrated find someone who likes you just the way you are. If everyone was the same we would all be a massive grey blob.
Forever alone… theres the point. Do you have trouble trusting someone (if you dont mind the q)?
Yah, I don’t trust many people AT ALL. Because, I walkways get screwed the fuck over.
It’s whatever.
This is why I don’t tell people my real name.
^what?
Yes I’m still here.
I don’t get what you mean..
When I cut I always half hope it’ll kill me. So when I do cut and if I do die, only one person will remember me. Every single person I know (outside my mother) doesn’t know my name, they’ll always know me a the girl who cuts and then no one will be able to betray me to authorities for self harm. I trust no one.