And the winner is: hanging.
Best options I have are to either hang myself or jump in front of a train. For fucks sake, isn’t Holland supposed to be a drug paradise? Why the fuck am I unable to get methadone. This is just so disapointing.
I asked my basically only friend to come over and smoke some weed with me last night. She didn’t want to come. Because she didnt agree with my “pathetic” lifestyle choices. Apparently being a lover of bdsm makes me less of a person.
One of my evil personalities is hoping she will feel guilty as fuck when she hears Im dead. The thought she will feel guilty makes me smile.
Though Ill probably be standing in the forrest in a few hours with a rope in my hands for a few hours and then dont be able to do anything. I should go by my dealer first to get some speed. No time for patheticness today.