It’s been a long time

well it has been a long time since I didn’t write… And thanks to that and all the stress of school I realised my unimportance. Everyday that passes keeps making me just want to die. They can’t notice. Obviously they can’t I seem  to be so much better. They think I have overcome DSH and ED, but I haven’t. I just feel alone, hopeless, without someone to count on. Literally I just want to finish everything. This week has been the hardest, since my last day of school I can’t stop remembering everything, I went through with him**Long story, if you want to know ask** I wish everything was as it used to be a year ago, it just seemed SO EASY, even if it wasn’t . Everyday I cry while I bath, nobody notices. My nights have become nightmares full of tears and blood. All of this is just killing me. I just really, I’m sick of everything. Everyone around me telling that I’m FAT, that if i eat something I’ll get FAT, that i can’t do something good, that I just give troubles, why can’t I do things good…. Really I just want to END THIS. Every morning when i wake up, I see my arm full of scars and my pillow full of tears. Day after day I just wish that that was the last day….