I love someone.
Do they love me back?
I’ll never know.
I hope they do.
But you just can’t be certain these days.
But…
Today…
I felt affection.
Affection from someone I could actually touch.
Someone that doesn’t live 2,000 miles away.
Maybe it’s a sign.
A sign that I should stop pretending that our relationship will  work.
I just feel like I can’t do it anymore.
I can’t bare the thought of not being able to hold your hand until we’re 18.
5 years.
5 years of agony
and being alone.
It was a small sign.
Just holding hands in the dark.
No one will ever know.
No questions.
But yet no answers.
Does it mean something or was the whole thing a big mistake?
I don’t know.
But I hope it meant something.
Something that will change me.