I Don’t Want To Die, I Want To Live

My father once said to me, “Life dealt you a really shitty hand, but all you can do is play the hand your dealt.” That was before I lost bladder function. I did not think to say to him at the time, “Well dad, I can always fold.” I was born unto a house of pain, and now I have to deal with health issues on top of all the psychological issues, all the arrests, all the beatings, all the hospitalizations, all the incarcerations, and for not ever really even breaking the law. I have been locked in a dry cell with nothing in it, no plumbing, no water, for over 48 hours and the guards (this was overseas) still would not bring me water. A fellow prisoner handed me a 1.5L Coca-Cola bottle full of water through the steel bars. I have been locked in a dark wet cell (again, overseas) with nearly a foot of water flooding the entire floor. I have so many terrible stories to share. They all rush upon me so fast, I have trouble relating even one in sufficient detail. Can there be no mercy for me upon earth?