I am divorced. I am a mother of six. My fiance committed suicide in July. I have had numerous surgeries this year that have left me unable to work yet. I am in yet another one of my major depressive episodes that has exhausted me. I have tried having my medications readjusted and mixed around to no avail. I am just so sick of having to battle depression! I have been in an uphill battle with this terrible illness for over 25 years! I have had enough. I am tired. I cannot endure more of this. My children have only known an emotionally absent mother because of my reoccurring bouts. I have been stockpiling pills, made a will, made a plan. The thought of enduring this hell for another 25 years makes me physically ill. What do you do when nothing has helped?