I am divorced. I am a mother of six. My fiance committed suicide in July. I have had numerous surgeries this year that have left me unable to work yet. I am in yet another one of my major depressive episodes that has exhausted me. I have tried having my medications readjusted and mixed around to no avail. I am just so sick of having to battle depression! I have been in an uphill battle with this terrible illness for over 25 years! I have had enough. I am tired. I cannot endure more of this. My children have only known an emotionally absent mother because of my reoccurring bouts. I have been stockpiling pills, made a will, made a plan. The thought of enduring this hell for another 25 years makes me physically ill. What do you do when nothing has helped?
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i don’t know but pills and gun shots don’t usually work, u vomit when u go unconnsious and shots to the head are actually usually survived but with brain damage from what i’ve read
im so sorry to hear your story i really feel for u. i just had a nightmare where my mom died and just cried. im very depressed and can’t seem to win this battle either. i try but nothing works,
im a 26 yr old black gay hiv positive male in florida, btw
Try living?
By that I mean do something new. If you have kids at home yet, you need to devote some serious them time, which you might do even if they’re not at home anymore. Be cheerful with them even if you have to fake it. Get involved with them and don’t talk about yourself at all.
Stop defeating yourself and pick up a hobby – something you’ve always wanted to try. Learn guitar if you’re housebound. Play games on the internet – there’s one out there you’ll like. Learn to speak a different language. Something that gives you a goal.
And then when you’re better, try a different job or move to a different state. No need to keep doing what you’ve been doing if it’s making you miserable. You deserve to make a change for the better for yourself.
The love of my life committed suicide a year and a half ago, I have 2 children and a grandchild. I feel your pain. I have no motivation for life. I haven’t been on this site for at least a year. I have to say that it has never been the same and it probably never will be. Suicide has a definite contagion to it. As a mother and feeling the after affects of losing him to suicide, I feel as though I could never leave my children in this kind of pain, a pain that drags on and on. I JUST can’t do it to my kids. But how the hell am I supposed to live with this day in and day out. To” someone who cares” I feel this womans pain, really “learn guitar” lol, the motivation of staying alive for her kids sake is all that she or I have. How about the goal just to breathe……..because we could never inflict our children with this much pain~!
Why not? She sounds like she could use a personal goal. It’s just a suggestion to do that. I’m right there with you both – maybe worse. But sometimes, people don’t consider the incredible amount of options we have rather than just feeling the pain and might not think of things like learning a musical instrument. It’s better than wallowing in misery.
It takes doing.
And courage to try.
Sounds like you are more of a piano person. 🙂
Stay strong.