So today i went to the doctor, he put me on antidepressants but i think he was very dumb. as i live alone ATM and i miss her so so much, i think I’m going to take all of them and mix it with alcohol. Emma will be so alone and scared o i have to go help her and look after her. it hasn’t been long since she committed suicide but this life is too hard and she deserves to have her mum with her. my kids have gone to live with their dad and they don’t want to stay with me so i guess this is goodbye?
i might of been on this website for a few days and all of you lovely people seem amazing, i really hope you find that happiness and start to enjoy life. im sending you all happiness and hope as well as love. i may not know you but you are all beautiful and caring, dont let people put you down and dont put down yourself. you deserve that happiness and too live.
dear Emma, where ever you are mummy is coming. i will see you soon don’t be scared. i will always love you.
I have to do a few things before i die and i have to make things right. I’m useless to this world i am not worth it. it’s my time to go be with my daughter and make her happy. i cant handle this life knowing that i rejected my own daughter and didn’t help her when she needed it. i don’t deserve this life.
i guess this is goodbye, thanks for commenting on my other post you really helped. so this useless idiot is leaving this world the one who stuffed up her daughters life. this is the end of the road for me.
i hope all you amazing and caring people find your happiness and a reason to live. i hope you enjoy the rest of your life because you deserve it. i’m scaered but i can do this, if my 14 nearly 15 year old kid can then i can too.
goodbye to you all, love Amelia.
20 comments
oh no amelia…………… pls dont do that!!!!!!!!! how can u think that u will go to ur dughter if u die! thats so wrong. okay, u r saying that u did mistake nd lost ur daughter nd for that u r feeling guilty….. thats it………. take one more chance to lead life happily………………. pls amelia pls………….dont give up dont go………….. u r born to do something not to kill ur self like this……………. how could u say or think that people who die go to a safe place??? how could u think that if u go u can reach ur daughter and can take care of her!!!!! is der any meeting place for u and ur daughter as soon as u die? yes i know that u cant take it in…. now and any more….. but amelia do some thing that makes u forget the past….. der r many people who dont have food to eat, shelter to leave, and clothes to wear…….. go… help them out!!! if u can….. y do u think that u r useless….. u do wht i said u!!! u ll find happynees in that and u can start ur new life…… and emma also feels very happy about u! dont bother about people who does not care u…… der r lot of people to care u……i am 1 in them. i am der for u….. share ur problems with me if u feel me as ur frnd ok……. mail me to dwaru799@gmail.com or message me to “dwaraka tirumala”……….. i will be waiting dear………. pls dont do that………….
oh no amelia…………… pls dont do that!!!!!!!!! how can u think that u will go to ur dughter if u die! thats so wrong. okay, u r saying that u did mistake nd lost ur daughter nd for that u r feeling guilty….. thats it………. take one more chance to lead life happily………………. pls amelia pls………….dont give up dont go………….. u r born to do something not to kill ur self like this……………. how could u say or think that people who die go to a safe place??? how could u think that if u go u can reach ur daughter and can take care of her!!!!! is der any meeting place for u and ur daughter as soon as u die? yes i know that u cant take it in…. now and any more….. but amelia do some thing that makes u forget the past….. der r many people who dont have food to eat, shelter to leave, and clothes to wear…….. go… help them out!!! if u can….. y do u think that u r useless….. u do wht i said u!!! u ll find happynees in that and u can start ur new life…… and emma also feels very happy about u! dont bother about people who does not care u…… der r lot of people to care u……i am 1 in them. i am der for u….. share ur problems with me if u feel me as ur frnd ok……. mail me to dwaru799@gmail.com or message me to “dwaraka tirumala”……….. i will be waiting dear………. pls dont do that………….
am sorry if i ve hurt u
if it was “just that easy … many here would already be long gone …. unfortunately, i’m sorry to say, it is not. most likely you will end up in the hospital and then branded with the stigma of being suicidal. i don’t want that for you. and it’s the most likely outcome of using antidepressants. please stick around a while and read, research and may find new purpose or at least pass on some of your experience and knowledge tot the young ones around hear who have no mother to turn to.
paternal dawg
PS … whatever you choose – i wish you all the best
addendum dawg
Amelia, what kind of drugs are they?
I hope you don’t suffer. But don’t try overdosing. 99% of the time it doesn’t work, and will cause you more suffering.
oh… Duloxetine is the main thing
and if my daughter can then i can too.
It is possible. SNRIs. But the rate of success is relatively low. I’m sorry your daughter was one of those who was successful. I won’t try to stop you – I can’t. But for your own sake, please consider researching into it before committing to an overdose. Having your stomach pumped or being forced to stay at a hospital may be a possibility you have to deal with. I know I’ve been pretty frank in my responses, but here’s a hug. *hug* I’m really sorry for your loss. I know I can’t tell you to be happy for your daughter, but at least take comfort in the fact that she has escaped pain.
i think its kinda too late to stop. for the last 5mins ive been throwing up blood and god knows what else, i feel like im going to pass out anyminute. p.s i forced myself to throw up so they can get into my bloodstrem quicker. i took about 80 something i think, with a bit of vodka. sorry if i dont reply to anymore posts or this post as i will be on my journey to find my daughter. i will find her 1 way or another. im all alone and no one can stop me, they cant ring for help as neither can i. thanks for your help, i hope you find al the happiness that you can. goodbye everyone, if i dont make a post or anything it means i succeded and i will be searching for emma. this is soooo painfull i feel like im going to throw up my guts, IS THAT POSSIBLE? i sure hope not. i love you all, goodbye.
.Amelia.
Amellia: I really hope whatever happens is for the best. Have you left a note for anyone ?? I’m so sorry you had to resort to this. I just hope your not suffering x
thankyou andyes i have left notes and i have given away my most valuable stuff. and trust me i mam suffering i never knew this could be so painful… i might take more meds to speed up the process! well i think i am slowley dying cause i feel like my insides are being eaten! will drinking posion kill faster?
I dont think so amelia. Im sorry you feel like this. Im only 13 and I have already started writing my notes.
You said you hav other children. What about them ?
They have just lost there sister, there suffering aswell. And I don’t know about the poison.
they dont like me they hate me, they live with there dad and thry said they never wanted to see me agaain. i have to go now im having trouble breathing and seeing, i guess this is goodbye. thanks for trying to help. maybe if i cant breathe means im dying and its all coming to an end now. im going to a happier place now. 🙂 goodbye thanks for trying to help.
love you <3
I know your going to a happier place and that’s good but I know what it’s like to have a parent die while I hated him.
Your kids don’t hate you. They just say that because there emotional. And it’s going to hurt them that there mum has died and it’s going to hurt them even more that the last thing they said is that they hate you. Please just make peace with them.
I don’t know why I’m bothering. Its probably to late. I just hope your not suffering anymore xx
Amelia, your soul is great.
Forced into this planet,
never having asked to be in,
only sensitive souls can breath this bullet
and have the courage to spit it off.
this is very true, over dose does usually fail, if you read my post, my first ever post, you’ll see it did not work for me only 2 days past.
and please don’t your good enough i promise, there was possibly no way you could help your daughter sadly, your tried your very best i swear to you!, everything will be alright just give life a chance, everyone deserves a chance. Keep safe, Love Freya x
I think she either passed away or was hospitalized.
I wish you the best, Amelia.