Only seeing the outer shell

I’m sitting here now, at work, behind the desk at my own dance studio. im surronded by kids that i know and that im friends with, and there are parents all over the place. they look at me and talk to me and all they see is my outer shell.. they have NO idea whats really going on inside my fucked up head. None of them know about my previous eating disorders, my cutting, my drinking and smoking to escape reality. they know little things that happened, only because the problems were made public. other than that, they think that i am all put together. im a perfect angle, and wonderful role model for their daughters and that i am just a good person. its crazy to think about just how wrong they all are. i’m typing this while im here sitting in front of them all. the younger girls keep asking what im doing, what im typing. i cant show them, i cant tell them. they cant know just how messed up the world really is.. their too young to know the truth.. the really fucked up thing is.. im only 16 and i know how fucked up things really are.. and i still have yet to learn how more fucked up things can get.. its just hard to think that every person that looks at me, sees this put together 16 year old girl, a girl with her life figured out, that has a long bright future ahead.. but they dont actually know whats going on.. they have no idea