Safe…

The razor blade in my pocket makes me feel safe. The people at school make me feel safe. A hig from my grandmother makes me feel safe. All of these things make me feel safe-why can’t I face them- why can’t I tell my teacher what my father did to me, why cant I tell the truth to my grandmother, why cant I face the blade and kick the habit…I got myself into a compromising situation yesterday. we where playing keep away with my friends shoe I had it and her boyfriend backed me into a corner. I felt trapped, I flashed back to that night and freaked out crying hugging my knees, he backed off, my friends where worried they tried to talk to me, I ran like I always do, again I couldn’t face the people that make me feel safe. I left and sliced my wrist with my ever present razor, again I couldn’t face my demons and stop myself.