The Sun Child

I used to be a very happy child. I have to say, my childhood was the best. I probably wasn’t the best looking kid on the block, but i was too young to care. When you’re a kid, you don’t care what you look like, who your friends are, what clothes you wear, all that mattered was that you were loved. I had lots of friends, every girl in my classroom was my friend. I was shy, but i was always liked. I miss that. The only bad thing about my childhood was, it wasn’t exactly sexual assualted, but i was ‘touched’ lots of times by a swimming instructor. Oh god that had haunted me for many years. Everything was good but that. Now, everything has gone downhill. Like the slope is vertical and soon i’ll crash to the bottom. I hate to complain about what a ‘horrible’ life i have. I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it; I’m ugly and have no self-confidence, my biggest fear is P.E (normal people’s fear would be something like spiders), I have nearly next no friends, i have never had a boyfriend and never will (I’m a loner forever), I have no talents, and i’m such a loser. I might not be bullied, abused by my parents, poor, homeless or extremely depressed, and i hate to complain over nothing, but i want to kill myself. Why? I have no idea anymore except the fact i deserve it. What stops me is many things. Maybe it’s attention-seeking if i do it, people will talk about me rudely after it, it’s selfish, but one thing that stops me the most is that it’s not worth it. I have a great life. I can’t compain much about it. I can’t bare it that there is next to no reason i want to do it. Oh god i’m repeating myself. I bet you all think i’m some stupid, complaining, attention-seeking, pathetic wuss. Which is exactly what i am. I’m soo sorry about my complaining. No one cares about me. Full stop. Ughhhh i hate myself  sooo much -.- ANYWAY, the point of this post was to… complain. WOOO! Meet gumpy, the complaining (I swear to god i’ve said that word more than i’ve blinked) ugly fuckface!!

Gumpy